7. Inventive? Jess: I’ll hold your wallet. Nick: I don’t have a wallet. I have a sandwich bag with my license and money in it.
6. You don’t say… Nick: Jess, is Sadie a gynecologist? Jess: No, she’s an OB/GYN. Different thing. […] Nick, she’s a wizard with a speculum. Nick: I don’t have a vagina.
5. Are you sure you don’t have a vag, Nick? Nick, to the gang: Can I just say that these pills are amazing? I feel, like, really warm in my uterus.
4. Definitely the Snow White witch Jess, to Nick: Are you sure you’re OK? You’re walking like a Disney witch.
3. Oh, snap! Sadie, to Nick: Jess tried to tackle a girl I was dating once. Jess: She stole my overalls.
2. It’s out! Winston (Lamorne Morris), to Schmidt: I’m a little drunk, and I can’t be too sure, but I think you’re about to finally see your best friend’s penis. Schmidt: He’s going to show his penis to the ocean and not me? Nick, wait!
1. Tact, Schmidt! Tact! Schmidt, after Nick breaks down about his terrible day: I don’t think this is the right time to bring this up, you guys, but does anyone else think Nick could stand to lose five to seven pounds?