Jersey Shore Season 5 Finale Recap: There’s No Place Like the Shore House
It was hard to watch this week's episode of Jersey Shore (Season 5, Episode 11: “We Are Family”) without getting sad that this is the last time we'll see this current incarnation. Whether or not the show returns for a sixth season, the show won't be the same without our Snooki, who either won't be returning at all or will only make guest appearances due to her pregnancy. The last episode of the show's ho-hum fifth season kept it light with some pranks, some partying at Karma, and a Vinny triumph.
What Exactly Can Deena's Sister Do?
Snooki forgot all about her conflict with The Situation and the two went out for drinks together, where Mike gossiped like a church lady about the relationship between his brother Frank and Deena Nicole's sister Joanie. He told Snooki about a special skill Joanie allegedly has, that is only given to the "chosen ones." Is Joanie a Highlander? Is she in the Illumaniti? Whatever it is, even Snooki looked shocked, and Deena was not happy when she found out this rumor was going around. However, her plans for epic drama were thwarted when Frank and Joannie showed up at Karma, flush with the glow of new love. Apparently unspeakable acts are a way to a man's heart!
Vinny Is A Hero Amongst Men
While the boys have attempted to pick up lesbians before, Vinny was the first to pull it off, bringing two home from the club last night. First, he had to find a bed, since his prank with Pauly D rendered the house an even bigger mess than it usually is. Finally, Ronnie agreed to help with the Mission and Vinny was actually able to successfully smash both of them. It was all a fun, vaguely homophobic time. Vinny looked especially proud of himself, although I'm skeptical any actual smushing occurred.
It was especially bittersweet to have Snooki close us out last night as she said goodbye to the smash room ("Goodbye STDs") and poured herself a shot, toasting herself on the deck. She asks us, "What am I going to do with my life now?" and we already know the answer to that question.
As for the rest of the gang, you can't help but feel a bit sorry for them and their millions of dollars in club appearance fees. The Situation remained true to his creepy self, stirring up drama until the last moment. Pauly D, with a new spin-off coming out, remains trapped in perpetual boydom, still finding it hilarious to wake up his roommates (JWOWW didn't seem to think so) by walking on them. Vinny, who bailed in the middle of the season, was picked up by his mother, and probably continues to escape to her when things get tough, and Jenni, finally happy got picked up by a gentlemanly Roger.
Sammi and Ronnie left the house like a normal couple, after finishing a normal summer, much to everyone's delight. There might be hope for those two yet. (Except we now know that they break up soon after Season 5 wrapped.) And finally we have Deena, desperately trying to make a name for herself in the house and failing. At least she has her push up bra to make her feel better, like she did last night.
Whether or not the show returns for another season, at least we'll have a strange bunny costume to remind us of the final hurrah.
Catch the reunion special for Jersey Shore on Thursday, March 22 at 10 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.