Lindzi Cox on What Ben and Courtney Taught Her: “I Learned Men Like Naked Girls”
It’s safe to say Lindzi Cox is doing just fine, thank you very much. In her exit interview conference call this week, the light-hearted jokester brushed off Ben Flajnik’s Bachelor 16 finale dumping like so much dog hair on a cape and revealed she wants to flirt with some other men in Bachelor Nation. She also touched on her non- “After the Final Rose” special appearance (even though she was there) and whether or not she’s been in touch with Ben and his fiancee, Courtney Robertson, since that day in Switzerland.
Read on for more from Lindzi — and keep your eyes open for her on this summer’s Bachelor Pad 3. She wants to do it, and we’d be surprised if the producers said no.
When you were talking to Ben's mother, you really took the high road when they were asking you about Courtney. Why [did] you — and do you wish you had said more?
Lindzi Cox: I think in talking to both Ben's mom and sister, you know, I said how I felt about Courtney. And, you know, when I was there in the house with her I didn't really have anything that negative at all to say about her. So, you know, I just kind of stated the obvious. That her and I are a bit... two very different people and I don't regret saying that and if I said more I would have been just making things up.
It seems like it's a pattern in Bachelor/Bachelorette for a bad girl and then a sweet girl to be left in the end and the guy inevitably picks the bad girl. Do you think they always pick the bad girl and do you think picking the bad girl ever works? I don't. Well, first of all I don't think Courtney is necessarily a bad girl and I don't think that he — you know it's up to them if their relationship works and I wish them nothing but the best.
What was the biggest surprise to you when you watched the episodes back this season? The biggest surprise to me — because a lot of what I saw I was seeing for the first time too. So I would say I was genuinely, and I hate to say this about Courtney, but I was genuinely kind of shocked to hear what she said.
And now that you've seen everything do you feel like it's a good thing Ben didn't pick you or do you still hope he would call you if things don't work out with Courtney? I think that I'm in a really good place now and Ben made his decision and I completely respect that and I wish them nothing but the best.
During your final words, you said that if Ben does want to marry Courtney, you'd be completely shocked and he'd quote "look like a total fool." Now that you watched the After the Final Rose special and you've seen how his relationship with Courtney has played out all season, do you still stand by that comment and what are your thoughts on how they are currently engaged and are planning a wedding like do you think they'll last in the end or...? You know, I think that I don't mean what I said. And watching the show I got to see how their relationship was and, you know, I think that ultimately it's not my place to say if they'll last or not or if she's making a good decision or not because he has to do - he has to do what's best for him and I really do wish them nothing but the best.
In his blog this week Chris Harrison explained that you were actually at the taping of the "After the Final Rose" but they decided to not bring you out and interview you based on how things were going with Ben and Courtney. How do you feel about that? Did that upset or frustrate you at all, that you traveled to L.A. for the taping and then didn't have a chance to tell Chris about your side of the story or maybe even get some answers from Ben? You know, it really didn't. It didn't upset me. I think that Ben and Courtney both came out and they had a really — it was a really emotional time for them and I think Ben had bigger issues to deal with right now like his fiancee - like his engagement. And clearly that was a — they were in a fragile emotional state. So, we just kind of decided that, I'm in a good place, I got my closure, I didn't have any pressing issues that I had to talk a bit about. I think it was better for him and for me to just kind of move on with it.
You just said you got your closure; do you feel like you got your closure then, that day when he put you in the car to say good bye or do you think you kind of got closure as you watched the show and as you saw, OK, here's what the other relationship was and I can see, now I hear what he's saying about it. When did you get this closure? I think I did get the closure that final day in Switzerland, and he was really honest with me I think and told me that he did have some feelings for me but ultimately he loved someone else more. At the end of the day I respect that because I don't think anyone wants to be with someone who doesn't know without a doubt that they want to be with that person.
A lot of the girls over the course of the season have come off as glad that they didn't make it to the end or that they, A, because of the skinny dipping, B, because they felt like they saw something in Ben that was different than they thought they knew about him or they felt like he wasn't ready to settle down. Do you have that change of heart about him or do you still feel like no, that's the guy I fell for? I think that hindsight — hindsight's a beautiful thing and I really am happy with how things ended for me. In the moment I felt that way about Ben and again, he made his decision, I respect that and I think that he did come off pretty well in the situation he was in. So I don't feel like I dodged a bullet but I do feel like things worked out the way that they were supposed to work out.
If it didn't work out with Courtney and Ben ever came grovelling back to you would you be open to giving him another chance? I don't know. I don't know. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. But I think he, I don't know. I feel like if he didn't know for sure about me then like he wouldn't change his mind now.
Did you get the chance to talk to Ben or Courtney at the "After the Final Rose”? You were backstage and didn't get the chance to go on camera but did you get a chance to talk to him about everything afterwards since? I, actually, I have not spoken to Ben or Courtney since that last day in Switzerland.
Do you wish you could speak to them or? I think, no, I don't think so and if I could speak to them I just — I think I would want them to know that I'm happy for them and I wish them the best.
You've had two very dramatic breakups that you've publicized. First, via text - "welcome to Dumpsville population, you." Sorry to bring that up again. And now on national television. Which was more difficult to handle? I think that anytime you get your heart invested in a relationship and it ends, you know, I think that's — they're both difficult but I think I was able to bounce back from being broken up with on national TV a lot quicker than the Dumpsville incident. So yes, I mean I think any breakup is tough, but I the Dumpsville one was probably the first real heartbreak I went through so I think they get easier after that a little bit. You kind of learn that it will be OK again.
A lot of couples are made up with Bachelor alums when they come together at reunions. Do you plan to attend any of those parties and is there anybody in particular you'd like to meet? Yes, I would — I would love to attend those parties and I am just, I don't know, I'm kind of excited to meet a lot of different people.
What new insights did you get in about yourself and also about men because of your involvement with Ben? Well, I learned that men like naked girls and skinny dipping. No, I think, I think the thing I learned the most about this is before Bachelor I kind of — like dating people, if things were going well I kind of just left it at that and was like, ‘OK, let's see [where] this goes,’ and I wasn't a really good communicator. And, I don't know, Bachelor — really with just going through with that kind of taught me how to be open with my feelings and be good at this dating thing. I think it kind of made me realize, like, why previous relationships in my past hadn't worked out because there is a lot of communication that goes into a healthy relationship. So I think I really learned how to, I don't know, how to kind of let my guard down more and just be more open with people that I'm dating.
There was that moment where Ben said to you that he felt like you were opening up more. Was that like one of those like "aha" moments for you? I don't think it was in "aha" moment. I think it was kind of I sort of moved at my own pace on the show and did it as it was comfortable for me. So I think that that was kind of the time where I was like, OK, I really like where this is going. I was kind of flow out of the gate.
On the show you said after Ben had made his decision that you were mad at yourself. Obviously you've moved on now but do you think ‘Oh, I wish I'd done that.’ Do you have any regrets? I don't have any regrets at all from the show. I think that I was me at the end of the day and if I had been more, I hate using the word “open,” but if I had been more open and vulnerable I wouldn't have been myself and I think at the end of the day I was myself and I really — I don't really regret anything.
ABC via WENN
You were on "Live! With Kelly" this week and maybe you were just joking but you made some comments about Ben's hair and Courtney being on a short leash. Is there any bitterness there or is it just that you have that joking around type character? Yeah. I've said this whole call that I'm really happy. I'm really happy for them and I really do wish them nothing but the best and that was joking. I, personally, I don't love Ben's haircut but we're — it was all fun and games.
Were you surprised when you learned that Ben and Courtney had already broken up once? Like what would your reaction when you heard that? You know, I don't really know. I don't really know what their relationship is like. I know it from the outside and I know them from the outside but I don't know them together so I wasn't really surprised but I wasn't really not surprised, you know what I mean. It was kind of like a, "Oh that's too bad like I hope that that's good for both of them."
As the runner up of this season, you were in the prime position to be the next Bachelorette but they ended up choosing Emily Maynard instead. Did you feel kind of cheated at all out of the experience because based on some of the comments you've made on other interviews it kind of sound like you would have been interested in being the Bachelorette. Yes, I definitely would have been interested but I don't — I feel like this was such a cool experience and I'm so lucky to have gotten to do it like I can't feel cheated at all because I've gotten to do so much awesome stuff.
During your Jimmy Kimmel interview you said you felt like Ben kind of led you on a little bit. Do you mind elaborating on that and why you kind of felt that way? I just, I don't know if Ben led me on. I really think, I like to think that the things he said were how he really felt but, early in the game ... it was really evident that he had really strong connection with other people so it just kind of naturally makes you wonder, like, I wonder if he really likes me or if I was just kind of fun to keep around? But I don't necessarily think he did. I kind of think that maybe at the end it was kind of a tough decision for him.
Your "Dumpsville ex-boyfriend" did an interview in which he said you two actually reunited after the Bachelor's finale. Do you mind confirming whether that's true or not? It's amazing what people will do to make a dollar.
OK, so you're basically saying it wasn't true right? Just on the record. Yes.
Watching this finale I was really surprised by how kind of jolly you were when you were in the final rose situation and you didn't seem to show a lot of emotions. So I'm wondering, is that indicative of just the way you are? Do you not like to show sort of your inner emotions or do you not have that strong feelings for Ben? What was going on that moment? I think in that moment I did have strong feelings for Ben but you know going into it … thinking from a logical standpoint, there's a chance that you know his feelings are stronger with someone else. So I think for me and where maybe I did put a guard up a little bit, like, I was very kind of protective of myself going into that. So I think it can only come as so big of a shock.
Are you dating? And what are you looking for your next ideal man that comes into your life? Oh good question. I'm not dating yet but now that the finale is over I hope to be dating sometime soon. You know, I don't really know what I'm looking for. I think that cool thing about, like, not really knowing is like coming into the Bachelor. I didn't know it was going to be Ben until two weeks before and it was I've never dated someone like Ben. Some people have their like specific type that they just date like that so I'm kind of open to — I'm kind of open.
Are there any former Bachelors that you know about that you would be interested in meeting? They don't have to be the actual Bachelor, even another contestant. Yes, there's a couple, we'll see.
OK, is there anybody you can mention? I don't know, stay tuned. I kind of want to play the game a little bit with them.
Can you just go over what was going through your mind when you said to Ben "call me if things don't work out”? Yes, so walking, leaving that situation it was probably one of the more awkward silent conversations or awkward silent moments in my life and I don't know I'm kind of just like a joker when I — to me that was like my way of kind of breaking the awkward silence.
So it was totally a joke? Yeah, we laughed about it, we — like Ben and I were laughing about it.
It did seem like a really awkward moment and you didn't burst into tears. I was kind of surprised. Do you know why or is that — are you just . . . Yeah I'm not much of a crier. I'm not much of a crier and it's like you go into this and you kind of don't really know how to react at the moment.
Is there a chance that we will see you on Bachelor Pad this summer? I don't know, hopefully. I would be very interested in doing it.
INF Photo/ABC via WENN
A lot of people on Twitter were reacting to yours and Courtney's wardrobe choices [for the final rose ceremony] with the cape. What went into that decision? Is that a trend over in Switzerland that hasn't reached the States yet? It was really cold and a coat would've looked funny with that jacket.
Do you think that you and Ben will keep in touch? Do you think there's a friendship there possibly? Yes, I think absolutely there's a friendship there.
Just re-watching the show do you think Courtney had Ben from the day one or do you think it was a gradual thing? It seemed like he always had her ahead of anybody else. What's your take on that? I didn't think of her as ahead. I didn't think of her as ahead but I do think that there's — their relationship escalated the fastest so, yes, maybe they were ahead but I don't think it — watching it didn't look like in the beginning that was the one that he was going to end up with. I think he genuinely had feelings then a relationship forming with a couple other women.
Looking back do you still believe you truly were in love with Ben or do you think a part of you kind of got caught up in the competition, the environment? I think that, yes, I did have really strong feelings for Ben and at some point I think maybe I was not caught up in the competition but caught up in the moment because the time we had together was so great, but then in between dates when I saw him going on dates with the other women and then I kind of started to second guess myself. So I didn't let myself go there as much as I could have.
From what you've said so far on the call it sounds like you don't have any harsh feelings towards Ben and you wish him and Courtney the best. But if Ben ended up choosing you in the end looking back on everything do you think your relationship would have lasted or do you think you might have broken things off? I think that's really hard to say because I don't know. A lot of time has gone by and a lot of time that we would have spent together so it's really hard to say.
You've touched on Courtney and Ben going skinny dipping a little bit... but what was your actual reaction... when you found out that they did go skinny dipping? Did your opinion of Ben change all at that point and if you had discovered that happened while you were still on show would their behavior have impacted your decision to stay or quit or anything like that? I think the skinny dipping — any other situation, go for it, but that was kind of something that watching was — kind of stung a little bit because he still had a lot of other really great women there. And knowing that, and then watching their connection kind of escalate faster afterwards, kind of came as a surprise.