The promo for Episode 17 of Revenge is 30 jam-packed seconds full of pensive looks, shirtless brawls, and naked middle-aged men.
If you watched it and still feel like you have no idea why Daniel is still in jail, fear not. We’ve parsed through each millisecond of promo content and created a detailed analysis of what’s to come — starting at 0:15, where the fun begins!
0:15 – Emily Sports a Long Brown Wig, Chats With a Random
Given the unfortunate highlights, we're going to go with circa 2003.
0:16 – Victoria Bitch-Slaps Charlotte
That's what she gets for being ½ fake-terrorist.
0:16 – Mysterious Stud Slams Victoria Up Against a Painting ....
Which we assume is worth millions of dollars. A small price to pay for impromptu love-making!
0:17 – Same Mysterious Stud Is Suddenly Shirtless, We Approve
Go for it, Victoria! Nevermind that Daniel is sitting in jail, boat shoe-less and alone.
0:18 – Shirtless Daniel! SHIRTLESS DANIEL!
Two words: Freeze frame. One more word: Screensaver.
0:19 – Daniel Gets Beaten Up by Unruly Inmates
Why did no one teach him how to fashion a shiv out of a lobster claw? Hamptons self defense 101!
0:21 – Victoria and Emily Chat In Prison, Look Extremely Middle-Aged
A cardigan + high-waisted pants? Emily might as well book herself a cell for that fashion crime.
0:22 – Emily Hides Behind an Exposed Brick Wall
Hmmm, she must be in New York City! Can we expect a trip to the Big Apple?