As the new millenium nears, Capeside is anxious to know what the future holds after Y2K. Will Joey ever kiss anyone again? Will Dawson make his Hollywood dreams come true? Will Andie and Pacey live happily-ever-after? The theme of this episode was the future, and how much of our past we carry with us into new adventures. Spoiler alert: Joey wears a really horrible fleece hat for 80% of the episode.
Dawson is having a nightmare. He’s showing Joey his film, and she’s so amazed that she’s speechless, gushing, “This is the type of motion picture-going experience that is going to change people’s lives.” (She apparently thinks it was Jack’s masterpiece, not Dawson’s — and the VHS tape has Jack’s name on it!) As if on cue, Jack jumps into Dawson’s room through the window, proposes to Joey, and announces Spielberg offered him a job. Dawson, meet your greatest fears!
Back to reality, Dawson and Jen are in film class. Their teacher, Ms. Kennedy, is showing them a black-and-white movie. “Great filmmakers have always asked questions,” she says. Later Jen calls him out for having a crush on the teacher, describing her as “every 16-year-old boy's wet dream.”
Later, Dawson runs into his dad in the hallway, who’s now his English teacher. He refuses to address his father as Dad because he thinks other kids will beat him up, but these aren't his only problems: D's also not sleeping, is contantly having nightmares. and worrying that all his "coming attractions are box office bombs." Poor guy is obviously having a crisis over his parents splitting up.
Cut to a poorly-lit tent with said psychic, who is named Carol and has big hair and a vaguely Russian accent. Carol muses, "There has been much pain in your past, you've put up walls to protect you from harm, but in doing so you've cut off new possibilities, new adventures, you must say yes to every possibility that comes your way." The psychic warns Joey that she will come to a fork in the road, and closes with, "A tall dark man will come into your life. Soon." Dun-dun-DUN.
Ms. Kennedy is ribbing Dawson about how proud his dad is of him (he's already rented the tux for the Oscars!) and it turns out that — OMG! They are both writing romance stories! Dawson gushes. "You being here has really given me a lot of hope." (Uh-oh, is this another Tamara/Pacey situation?) Ms. Kennedy concludes that Dawon has "quite the romantic spirit."
Joey and Jack are walking back to her exhibit and a tall, handsome stranger is waiting for her. We find out his name is Colin Manchester before he walks away. Jack lambasts Joey for letting her "destiny" get away so easily. Joey goes on about how she's trying to find herself, but admits she doesn't even know what that means. Jack says, "Maybe he's the answer to getting that no-strings, pre-millenium kiss." Joey's face illustrates what we already know very well about her: She only begrudgingly accepts the idea of adventure, and mostly wants them kept far, far away. But maybe the fortune teller has convinced her to live her best life? Joey seems resigned to the fact that, in order to be right, she's got to prove Carol the fortune teller wrong.
Meanwhile, Jen is helping Grams in her booth, who is ribbing Jen in her trademark Grams way, "Are you sure you can't work things out with that nice young man Ty?" An old dude (and friend of Grams) named Whit ambles over and asks Grams out, but she turns him down. Boo! Jen doesn't miss a chance to rib Grams back, saying, "I could see it in his eyes; he was having impure thoughts about you. Go out with him." Y'see, this scene illustrates why Jen and Grams are the best part of this show. Their insecurities are both exposed and alleviated by the other; they are growing up together in their own ways. Such a mini Steel Magnolias moment!
Joey finds Jack and tells him new guy Colin has asked her if she'll sit for him for a portrait. Jack is dubious about this, asking, "What do you know about this guy?" Joey fires back, "He's an artist, he's different," and claims that meeting up with Colin is about her "expanding her horizons." Uh-huh.
Joey's with Colin now, and is anxious to try out the costume closet. Colin tells her to "think of this as an opportunity to try on a different side of your personality." Jack pops out of nowhere and advises Joey to put on a feather boa and a gold dress. Joey confesses, "I feel like a drag queen." She puts on about a million outfits, and even sticks some roses between her teeth, which prompts Colin to proclaim, "You're a born diva." They share a weird almost-kissing moment, and then Colin walks away. Aww, it's okay, Joey! Y2K is still eight months away!
Surprise! Colin asks Joey if Jack is dating anyone. Joey pouts about this (of course), then takes it out on Jack, snapping, "You really need to develop some gaydar!" She apologizes, to which Jack retorts, "Look at me! People look at me like any minute I'm about to start tap-dancing to Bette Middler albums." Turns out, Joey set Jack up with Colin, telling Colin that Jack would meet him at a certain time. To this, Jack blows up at Joey, but later apologizes to her for overreacting. Drrrrama!
Dawson turns to Ms. Kennedy after viewing his film, which she describes as "fine." Ouch. She continues, "I think your film is completely uninspired, lacks emotion of any kind, says nothing to the audience. It's a proposterous soap opera about a bunch of teenagers who talk to much." (Sidebar: This is totally a self-referential critique, as Kevin Williamson's dialogue has often been accused of being too wordy, angsty, and pompous.) She goes, "You're sweet, Dawson, and you're just the type of person Hollywood eats for breakfast."Double ouch.
Afterwards, Dawson wanders around the fairgrounds aimlessly, when he spots Ms. Kennedy getting into his dad’s car. Triple ouch. Then he spots Joey, who’s hugging Jack. Meanwhile, Pacey and Andie are sitting on a bench, and Andie says, “I don’t know if I can handle any more unhappiness.” Pacey gives her a sweet pep talk about being optimistic, ending with, “You know what? You don’t have to believe me. I’ll believe it for you.”
Dawson finds the psychic, who tells him his soulmate is already in his life. He's convinced Joey blew him off. Carol says cryptically, “That which is lost can be found again.” Dawson stares at Joey’s photo and goes to call her as she’s standing below his window, looking pensive. Joey heads home, where she finds… her long lost jailbird dad!
Now that you've traveled back in time to April 1999 with us, it's only fair to tell you that it's actually April 1, 2012. Happy April Fool's Day! For more fun TV nostalgia stuff, click here.