Rene seemed so normal at first. We totally dug his sexy fake Cajun accent and man muscles. Too bad he turned out to be a vampire-hating serial killer.
Rene started his killing spree when he strangled his fangbanging sister. He fled to Bon Temps to get away from all the gross vamps in his hood, but then Bill had to move in and ruin everything. So Rene went on (another) murder spree, chopping up a cat in a fan, taking out a few of Jason’s lady friends, and stabbing Sookie’s grandma. Rene totally got what he deserved when Sookie decapitated him with a shovel.
Too bad his evil spirit came back to haunt Arlene. Maybe we'll see more of his ghost in Season 5!
2. Russell Edgington (Denis O’Hare)
Oh man, this vamp is crazy wonderful. We’re so happy that he got out of his cement grave. Russell used to be the vampire king of Mississippi, and even though he’s lived all over the world, he has a full-blown Southern accent.
Russell hangs in a mansion with his progeny/lover Talbot and a pack of gnarly werewolves. Honestly, what’s so terrible about this blood sucker? So he killed a few fellow vamps and ripped out a newscaster’s spine.
Other than that, he just wants a taste of Sookie’s sweet fairy juice. Cut the guy some slack!
Plus, Russell has a sensitive side. He carried around Talbot’s remains in a punch bowl until Sookie threw them down a garbage disposal. Now that’s true(bie) love!
Lorena is an evil man-killer who has a major thang for Bill. She was made into a vamp by Istvan, who used her as bait so he could murder hunky mortals.
Lorena then turned Bill into a vampire after approving of his chivalry and manliness. You remember his hilarious rendition of “Hard Hearted Hannah?”
Now that’s a gentleman through and through. Bill and Lorena dated for about 70 odd years and had a great time murdering swingers and doing it next to their dead bodies. Eventually, Bill became too much of a pansy to keep up, so Lorena released him from her fangs.
Poor Lor is heart-broken, so she amps up the stalking and turns Bill back into the evil vamp she knows and loves. But then she lets him get fed on by some blazed up werewolves.
Way to stand by your man, Lorena. FAIL.
4. Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian)
Reverend Steve Newlin is a vampire-hating, God-fearing fundamentalist Christian whose mission in life is to hunt and kill the vamps that drained his family. He runs The Fellowship Of The Sun, a church/Christian boot camp that trains hot studs to play capture the flag and paint ball.
Steve and his wife often appeared on the news together to debate vampire rights with Nan Flanagan — though why he would go on the news after Russell de-boned that reporter is beyond us.
Steve disappeared for awhile, but he returned ... with a set of fangs! If Steve was scary as a human fundamentalist, we shudder to think how he is as a vampire!
Maryann is either a God (don’t tell Steve Newlin) or a devil Maenad ... we’re not really sure. She’s in Bon Temps to marry Dionysus and start up some good old fashioned orgies. Maryanne goes around town trying to find a vessel to offer her boyfriend on their wedding day.
After murdering a few village people, she realizes that Sam is the perfect present for her future husband, so she plans a gigantic meat-themed wedding/sacrifice to celebrate. Maryanne is super excited when Dionysus shows up at the alter, but turns out it's just Sam in bull form. He promptly impales her with his horn, and she digs it.
P.S.: Doesn’t Sam need a visual to shapeshift? Was there just a random white cow wandering around Sookie’s house?
Oh, Frankie. Your sexy cowboy boots really had us going there. Too bad you turned out to be even crazier than Charlie Sheen.
Franklin was Russell’s personal secret agent man who is on a mission to take Bill Compton down! He seemed so charming when he was letting Tara punch the lights out of that racist hillbilly. But then he put her in that long white nightgown and things went way downhill.
A few awful sexual encounters later and Franklin’s “dead” — but not before revealing all of Bill’s secrets to Russell. Is it wrong that we secretly want Franklin to rise up from the grave and reclaim Tara as his vamp bride.