5 Reasons Why a Sober Situation Is the Best Situation on Jersey Shore
Now that The Situation is sober, most of the grievances that the rest of the Jersey Shore cast had with him will probably be gone. Without prescription pills and massive amounts of alcohol clouding his speech, his actions, and his judgment, we think it’s safe to say that his roommates (and audiences) will actually start to like him again. Why?
No more dipping. One of Mike’s most frustrating habits was his sudden disappearing act. On Season 5, when Vinny was missing from action and everyone was celebrating Pauly D’s birthday (Season 5, Episode 3: “Dropping Like Flies”), Mike just bailed on the roomies, left the house, and no one knew where he was. But if Mike is sober, he’ll have the wherewithall to be more engaged with the rest of the cast. All that madness building up in his head that was causing him to make quick exits should be gone.
No more crazy talk. Remember that scary verbal freak-out Mike had when he started to think everyone in the house was conspiring against him (Season 5, Episode 5: “Nothing But Nice”)? As soon as he made the assumption that even his dearest Snooki (and fellow meatball-in-crime Deena Nicole) were in on it, he started racing from room to rooftop to living room with his thoughts spinning out loud. We have a feeling that drugs of some kind were involved there, but if Sitch is sober, he’ll stop whacking out on Season 6.
No more passing out. Another strange thing that Mike kept doing on Season 5 was passing out in the middle of the day. First he decided to take a nooner at Pauly D’s birthday party (and wound up with whipped cream on his face), and among the other times, he would just go up to his bed and start snoring on impact. A nap is one thing, but once you go from motormouth to zonked in a matter of seconds, you might suspect some chemical assistance.
No more Unit? We know, we know. The Unit claims he got sober before Mike did. But if the rumors are true that a sober companion will be moving to Seaside with Mike this summer, we doubt he or she will allow much contact with the publicly inebriated Unit. Less Unit means less anti-Mike tirades.
No more tired face. Maybe it’s just the transition to 30 this year that made The Situation look a little older than usual, but we would bet that all those prescription pills combined with drinking every night took their toll on Mike’s face of late. With no more junk in his system, Mike can actually start earning back his reputation as the guy with the best abs in the house.
Do you think that Mike will be at his best while sober? Tell us in the comments below.
Need a Jersey Shore fix? Catch the next new episode of The Pauly D Project on Thursday, April 12 at 10:30 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.
Molly Friedman is an editor at Wetpaint Entertainment. Follow her on Twitter @MollyFriedman.