"It seems that every day I am stripped down to my most vulnerable and unguarded self," Melissa wrote. "My emotions are raw and unpredictable. The closest thing I can compare this to emotionally is getting sober ... It's taken me nearly eight years as a sober person to control the flood of feelings. Now every day is a full-on emotional rollercoaster complete with elation, depression, confusion, self-doubt, rage, accomplishment, failure, bargaining, sorrow, laughter. All of it."
Melissa said she pities her family, boyfriend Thierry Gauchet and DWTS partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy for having to deal with her in this state. "I'm a battered zombie who eats all of the food. My boyfriend has seen me cry more times in past three weeks than in the entire time we've known each other. And Maks ... Maks gets most of my time and has become the person who has to deal with it all the most. In a very few short weeks we have become very, very close. So close that we trigger each other daily. Poor Maks is having a recurring nightmare about me. His eye is starting to twitch."
How does she really feel about Maks? "Alternately, I want to strangle him or hug him. Every few minutes of every day. He is brilliant, difficult, smart, funny, charming, petulant, generous to a fault, funny and demanding."