Top 11 Damon Snarks from The Vampire Diaries Season 3, Episode 22, “The Departed”
Damon Salvatore is the snark king of Mystic Falls. Sure, he mumbles and has a tendency to smirk. But oh — the things that come out of his mouth. So what witticisms did prime time’s finest bloodsucker drop this week? Here are Damon’s best zingers from the third season finale, “The Departed.” 11. Decisions, decisions Bonnie: It was her call. Damon: You know what else was her call? Every bad thing ever. 10. Dude! Damon (as Klaus’s eyes pop open): Whoa. Creepy. 9. I love you too, man Damon (to Stefan): Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you not being the dumbest brother on earth? 8. Luck of the draw Damon: Our life is one big proverbial coin toss. 7. Storage Ward Damon: Mini fridge. Couple of birdcages. Box full of Playboys. One beef-jerkified Original.
6. So he can be subtle Damon: I was going to use Unit 666 but I figured that would be a little obvious.
5. So impatient Damon: Just jam the witch locator... bat signal... whatever and get on with it, Bonnie!
4. Hindsight is 20/20 Stefan: What would you have done, Damon? Damon: Grabbed her. Gagged her. Throw her in a well. I don’t know — anything other than let her trust Elijah. Stefan: You know she’d just hate you for it, right? Damon: Yeah, but she’d be alive, hating me. Thus the eternal difference between you and me, brother.
3. Goodbye, love Damon: Well, I guess you’ll just have to say goodbye for both of us. Call me if you cough up a lung.
2. Stating the obvious Damon (to Alaric): I see you’re still pissed. I take it goldilocks gave you the slip.
1. Not snarky — just sad Damon (to Elena): I get it. Stefan. It’s always gonna be Stefan.
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