Credit: Face    
Share on Facebook0Share on Google+0Tweet about this on Twitter0

True Blood

“I’m A Gay Vampire American!” and More Top True Blood Quotes From Season 5, Episode 1

Fact: True Blood's season 5 premiere was completely and totally amazing. It also happened to be packed full of hilarious one-liners courtesy of our favorite po'boy-eating gang of hillbillies.

We love you and your wise words of wisdom, Bon Temps!

10. Eric says what we're all thinking: "Fuck Sookie."

Yep, pretty much.

9. Jason gets deep: "Fangs are basically like twin hard-ons."

We've been saying that all along.

8. Pam teaches Sookie and Lala a lesson: "I am wearing a Walmart sweatshirt for ya'll. If that's not a demonstration of team spirit, I don't know what is."

We're surprised Pam's skin didn't break out in hives.

7. Pam checks out Tara's dead body: "What's to say she won't rise up from the ground tomorrow night completely and utterly f***tarded?"

Pam can always be counted on to be politically correct.

6. Eric saves Bill's life: "I'm not leaving you here."

Sob, so romantic.

Credit: HBO    

5. Lafayette tries to find Jesus: "He was right f***in' there in my hand chair!"

LOL, hand chairs.

4. Sookie lies her pants off to Alcide: "I saw that open cabinet look in Southern Living."

Please, Sookie doesn't know how to read.

3. Steve Newlin comes out of the vampire closet: "I'm a gay vampire American!"

It gets better.

2. The Rev says "hi" to Jessica: "I am Steve f***in' Newlin, who the f*** are you?"

This is how we will be introducing ourselves from now on.

1. Eric brags to Bill about Nora: "We fight like siblings, but we f*** like champions."

You don't need to rub it in, poor Bill's jealous enough as it is.

Wanna chat with fellow True Blood fans? Join the discussion on our True Blood Facebook page!
Follow @TrueBldWetpaint on Twitter

More About True Blood
True Blood Spoilers
True Blood Season 6
True Blood Episode Guide

Alexander Skarsgard
Anna Paquin

06.11.2012 / 09:41 PM EDT by Mehera Bonner
Related: True Blood, Quotes

Share on Facebook0Share on Google+0Tweet about this on Twitter0