Each season of The Bachelorette is its own unique brand of WTF beauty and rainbows, but we can always count on one thing: The man meat. Usually there are about 20 hunks to pick from, and all of them fall into one of five categories. Check 'em out!
1. The Cocky Stud-Muffin This guy is self-assured, might be allergic to shirts, and probably has strange and unusual facial hair. He loves working on his fitness and getting his flirt on, and is completely convinced that he will a) win the Bachelorette's heart, or b) star on The Bachelor. Sometimes The Cocky Stud-Muffin is prone to talking in the third person, so don't be alarmed.
Requirements: A 6-pack, a pinkie ring, an arsenal of pick-up lines, and frosted tips.
2. The (Preferably Religious) Good Boy This sexy mama's boy (yes, they do exist!) gets a manly tear in his eye while talking about his family, and he's only had one serious girlfriend (who may have died tragically). He takes his tenure on The Bachelorette very seriously, but isn't afraid to ab-flash his happy trail if the situation calls for it. Rarely, he will have a mysterious secret, like the fact that one time he fired a gun in his backyard. Looking at you, Doug.
Requirements: A cowl neck sweater and sandy-blonde hair. A love child back at home is a definite bonus.
3. The Weirdo With a Fetish Weirdos with fetishes are frequent visitors to The Bachelorette, and they come in all shapes and sizes. You can usually identify them by their prop, be it a giant ostrich egg or a couple bobble head dolls that look like you. These guys are usually harmless, and their sole purpose is to entertain and horrify the audience. Some people think they're part of Chris Harrison's master plot to show the Bachelorette who's boss, and by "some people," we mean us.
Requirements: Jazz hands, a four-pack as opposed to a six-pack, and an interest in Dungeons and Dragons.
4. The Super Freak Much like The Weirdo With s Fetish, the super freak has some unusual hobby or passion that sets him apart from the rest of the love nest. His purpose is to creep The Bachelorette out, and he may or may not speak a foreign tongue known as The Language of Love. Sometimes he'll have long hair, sometimes he'll have multiple body piercings, and sometimes he's a vampire slayer who had sex with his cousin. Not to name any names, oh wait: Alessandro.
Requirements: Crazy eyes, secret shrines in the forest, mixed martial arts.
5. The Dream Boat Who Happens to Have a 6 Pack This guy is guaranteed to win The Bachelorette every time. He's sweet, kind, funny, sensitive, strong, charming, polite, sexy — basically he's the perfect man. He also might be a little off-beat and unique, which sets him apart from the other dudes. Usually there are only a handful of these fellas per season, and they almost always end up as the finale three.
Requirements: A Moleskine journal, the ability to have a conversation without boring the Bachelorette to tears, a love of white wine.