The Bachelorette Man Power Rankings: Arie Tongues His Way Into First
There are only 6 eligible bachelors left in Emily Maynard's love nest, and now she's faced with the impossible task of whittling them down, one stud at a time. Clearly, girlfriend needs help managing her hotties — and that's where we come in.
We've ranked the most powerful players from Season 8, Episode 6, based on their sex appeal, personality, and variable degrees of insanity. Check it out! Name: Doug Clerget Ranking: 5 Pros: Watching Doug weep hysterically about his son gave us beautiful flashbacks to the days of yore, when Tony The Lumberjack roamed the streets sobbing onto exposed brick walls. Sigh, we know Doug is kind of overly emotional, but his tears move us, guys. Cons: Emily is bored out of her mind by Doug, and he still hasn’t planted one on her! What is this dude waiting for? Doug needs to pound a Four Loko and get his mack on before he gets sent home!
Name: Chris Bukowski Ranking: 4 Pros: Chris is the Little Bachelor That Could. Poor youngin’ tried so hard to be masculine, but he just ended up disqualified from The Highland Games for failing to hurl a log across the mountains. He is so the Rue of this group. Luckily, Emily is strangely attracted to men who are terrible at sports, and Chris won the rose. But will President Snow let him live? Doubtful. Cons: Please refer to the Pros section.
Name: Sean Lowe Ranking: 3 Pros: Managed to break a tree in half with his sheer strength and masculinity. Cons: Um, there are none to speak of. Maybe his hair is too blonde? If by “too blonde” we mean “too perfect?”
Name: Jef Holm Ranking: 2 Pros: You guys, Jef feels all the feelings that there are to feel. But he spent much of this week with his hood up, and we’re concerned that he’s sad. Are you ok, Jef? Do you need us to send you a care package? 'Cause we already did. Cons: Jef didn’t get nearly enough screen time this week, and we’re think he’s losing his spark with Emily. She only made out with him once, and yes, it was adorable, but was it enough to keep him around? We just don’t know anymore, and it’s SO PAINFUL.
Name: Arie Luyendyk, Jr. Ranking: 1 Pros: Arie is so worried about Emily. So worried, that he felt the need to sneak into her bedroom after hours and suck face in front of a slew of camera men. We love that Arie goes for the gold, but Emily isn’t a trophy to be won — a lesson that Ryan learned the hard way. Miss you and your chintee, bro! Cons: We don’t love the fact that Arie broke the rules and got an unfair advantage over the other men. If Jef knew he was permitted to escape the love nest for a sexcapade, he would have been in Emily’s bed hours ago. SOB!