“Just Because You Do Bankruptcy Doesn’t Mean You Have to Crawl and Die in a Hole” and Other $#*! The Real Housewives Say!
This week, the lovely ladies of New Jersey finally stopped playing nice and let the fake fur fly. When all was said and done, Jacqueline Laurita and Teresa Guidice’s long lopsided friendship lay in shambles, with little hope of repair.
But, before we mourn the loss, let’s look at what was actually said, with the top 10 quotes from Season 4, Episode 8: “Best Friends For Never.”
10. Albert Manzo, on daughter Lauren’s weight problems: “When all else fails, Daddy will get you the Lap-Band."
Invasive gastric surgery — the sign of true love.
9. Jacqueline: “I just want to hear from you. What are lies and what are true?” Teresa: “If you want, I’ll give you my attorney’s number, and you can speak to him.”
Unless her attorney flips tables and has trouble with everyday idioms, he isn’t you, Teresa.
8. Teresa: "Just because you do bankruptcy doesn't mean you have to crawl and die in a hole."
If “doing bankruptcy” is anything like living like the Giudices, then sign us all up!
7. Lauren Manzo: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”
We guess mainlining egg whites for days will have a girl talking crazy. 6. Joe Giudice: "I don't even want to think about the past. To me, it's never even happened."
Unfortunately, that’s not exactly how to U.S. Attorney’s office sees it.
5. Teresa, complementing Jacqueline’s dress: "You look like you should be in South Africa!" Very Aztec-y. Amazon-y."
Aztec-y is so in this season.
4. Jacqueline, on the Gorgas supposed plot to overthrow Teresa: "Then why are they so bitter?" Teresa: "FRICKIN' jealousy!"
Teresa, you can say this until the “frickin” cows come home, but that doesn’t mean anyone will agree.
3. Teresa, watching Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline act out her fight: "Holy sh*t. Are these bitches really roleplaying?"
Yea, this isn’t kindergarten (no matter how immature these ladies act.)
2. Melissa Gorga: “Teresa needs to make money, I get it. It's a magazine. You're not buying it because you want to learn about science."
Wait … that’s not what the “Stars: They’re Just Like Us” section is about?
1. Caroline, on Teresa’s Louis Vuitton: “Nice bag.”