We're worried that next season will be the era of Dashley. Did you see the way Danny Boy was making eyes at The Hamptons' resident party planner as he pounded Pimm's Cups? They were engaged in an eye-sexing storm the likes of which we haven't seen since Emily accidentally caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
Fingers crossed that Daniel has more sense than to hook up with Evil Ash, but we have a feeling lip-locking is inevitable. If their love was a food, it would be lobster stuffed with tea biscuits. In other words, nauseating.
The very idea that Victoria might die sends us into a tailspin, so we're going to move on to reason No. 3 before we pop in our Florence + The Machine mourning mix tape and drown our sorrows in a Nolan-shaped body pillow.
Fauxmanda is pregnant, and we can only assume that she's been immaculately conceptioned by Satoshi. Mostly because the idea of Jack sperminating someone who isn't Emily is almost as troubling as Victoria's untimely demise.
Even worse? Jack is such a stand-up dude that he'll probably put a ring on Mandy's finger before the season is out. Knowing him, it will be made out of hemp and seashells. Sob!
Unfortunately, it seems like our girl Charlotte might be dead thanks to Declan's stone cold rejection on the night Victoria died. And you know what that means: Declan is sure to blame himself for Charlotte's death and enter a deep depression, wherein he'll dye his hemp necklaces black, and slip into that strange Bostonian accent that he used to rock. Make it stop, Declan.
5. The Return of Dominique
Dominique = vaguely ethnic draperies, distressed leather couches, "loft" apartments, unwashed clothes covered in paint, bodily fluids, and — most disturbing of all — Brooklyn. In a word: No.