This week's episode of True Blood featured blazed-up vampires and references to amazing '80s movies, so as you might expect the quotes were even more whacktacular than usual. By which we mean Eric got away with saying "C U Next Tuesday."
Check out the 10 tastiest morsels from Season 5, Episode 7: "In The Beginning"!
10. Jason worries about Sookie's light: "Hey, let's just plug her in and charge her back up."
Sookie is basically the fairy version of an iPhone.
9. Nora invites Eric and Bill to get freaky: "Join us. Please?"
Eric: "Never, you bible-banging cunts."
Oh, Eric. So demure.
8. Alcide calls out Martha: "Your son doesn’t have a grave because you all ate him."
Martha: "Don’t get literal on me, Rambo."
It's true, Alcide has no right to judge while wearing that headband.
7. Hoyt's supe-killing buddy defends himself: "That’s what people don’t get. Hate groups is about more than hate."
Whoa, way deep.
6. Eric insults a muggle: "Your heartbeat sounds like sh*t and your blood smells even worse."
In other words, it's this dude's lucky day!
5. Pam bonds with Tara: "Time to get back up on that pole."
Just a typical mother-daughter bonding moment.
4. Russell mocks Bill and Eric: "Hahaha, fangs! You’re such boys."
Excuse you, Russell. Hard Hearted Hannah is a lady.
3. Jason brings Sookie a treat: "I don’t know how to make lunch, so I made you breakfast instead."
It's called Bologna and Wonderbread, Jason. Jeez.
2. Steve Newlin joins in the fun: "I am like a tree in the wind, I am just so happy to be included."
This is basically the vampire version of a sorority rush.
1. Jessica defends herself: "Yeah and I suppose you know every cow you’ve ever eaten."
Jason: "What the f—k kind of question is that? I ain't ever f—ked a cow."
But he has sexed up a panther. Just saying.