The Campaign star is amazing because he knows something about everything — including a wealth of unconfirmed “facts” regarding his career and fellow actors.
Will sat down with Entertainment Weekly recently, and he was a font of hilarious made-up information about everyone from Tom Hanks to Wesley Snipes. Read on for five especially LOL-worthy “reveals,” straight from Will’s mouth.
He may be the world’s most interesting man.
1. Zach Galifianakis is conflicted.
When asked what came out of Zach Galifianakis’s beard when he shaved it for The Campaign, Will replied, “Ironically, a couple of coupons to Chick-fil-A and a refrigerator magnet for a place called The Little Shrimp, which is a gay bar.”
2. Tom Hanks isn’t who — or what — he seems.
“Tom Hanks is not his real name. His real name — and this is not a joke — is Chip Pharttman, pronounced ‘Fartman.’ I’m not trying to be crass — this is a fact.”
3. Will should never run for political office.
“Did I forget to pay taxes from 2000 to 2008 because Wesley Snipes was my business manager? Yes. And do I shoot most of my movies in northern Albania so that my income is non-taxable? Of course. But I have done nothing wrong. [pauses] Wait, I forgot that I also own five Nike factories in Upper Mongolia where I’ve trained goats to make shoes for pennies on the dollar — all non-taxable.”
4. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire will have some major box-office competition in the form of Will’s next movie.
“Currently, I’m working on a $500,000 biopic about Napoleon’s fifth mistress’ brother, entitled The Man Napoleon Never Knew, in Burbank. It’s looking like another tentpole movie for the summer of 2013.”
5. Will needs to be nominated for an Academy Award.
“I should be nominated for an Oscar just so one can see me sitting next to Helen Mirren while I smoke a pipe.”