Our deep, passionate love for True Blood borders on obsession (it's totally normal to have Eric shrines in your basement, right?), but do you end each episode passed out in a puddle of WTF? Join the club, Vampettes.
Our jaws constantly drop at the supernatural antics in Bon Temps, and it's time to check out the biggest WTF moments from Season 5, Episode 10: "Gone, Gone, Gone." And no, Jason's ugly-crying jag isn't on this list. Let the man express his feelings!
5. Russell and Steve Are Living a Teenage Dream
Ahh, to be young, in love, and surrounded by dead bodies. Russell Edgington and Steve Newlin's romance is so fresh and pure, no wonder they decided to celebrate their latest kill by waltzing to Katy Perry! Lord knows that whenever we hear "Teenage Dream," we can't resist the urge to tap into our inner cannibal. Keep doing your thang, Stevell!
4. Hoyt Moves to Alaska, No One Cares
Remember last week when Hoyt was fed to pigs and it took everyone like ten minutes to notice? Apparently Bubba is just as WTF'd about that as we are, and now he's moving to Alaska. In case you need a reminder (cough, Alan Ball, cough), Hoyt is a main character on this show, and we're slightly incensed that no one (aside from Jason and Jessica) bothered to say goodbye. Instead, Hoyt just trucks off into the great unknown accompanied by his own tears and a few packets of beef jerky. Come back to us, Hoyt! Come back to us and bitch-slap all of your friends!
3. Sookie's Fashion Continues to Blind Us
Look, Sookie has been through a lot this year, so we've tried to look past her love for cropped denim jackets, flowing hippie skirts, and rompers. But this week's outfit needs to be addressed. Sookie appears to have traveled back in time to 1995, snuck into a third-grader's closet, and stolen a Blossom-style, floral-printed dress. Girl, please find the nearest bonfire, burn all of your clothing, and head to the a mall. Forever 21 has called, and it's time to answer.
2. Bill Gives Jessica a Lesson in Interior Decorating
Don't you hate it when you're lounging around at home indulging in erotic fantasies, and then your dad shows up on speaker phone and forces you to go on vacation? This week, Bill took Jess on a trip to Authority Headquarters, where he nerded out all over his middle part and lectured her on things like "stonework" and "Byzantium." Oh, William. Someone's been listening to too much NPR.
1. Jason and Sookie Make Friends With Bon Temps' Local Linguistics Prof
First of all, we had no idea there was a college in Bon Temps, near Bon Temps, or anywhere in The Great State of Louisiana. Color us shocked. Second of all, we are mind-blown that Sookie and Jason managed to walk on campus without being smited by the education gods. There's hope yet!