Keeping Up With the Kardashians Recap of Season 7, Episode 14: Kris Jenner and the Kardashian Crypt
“We really, really appreciate everything you’re doing and that you want to have everything handled, but… I was trying to play along but it’s not funny, and it’s not playful.” They’ve already lost one parent, and the thought of doing it again is painful. They show her the disturbing pic, and even Kris can admit it’s weird. Time to live in the “here and now.”
Meanwhile, when Kim is finally alone with Kourtney, she decides to approach the subject of why she’s not Mason’s guardian. She should have at least talked to her about it, Kim says. Kourtney says it’s Kim’s busy schedule that made her choose Khloe instead. “You are all about Kim right now,” she says.
After the tough talk, Kourtney decides to apologize for being totally harsh and issues more details about the decision — namely, that she had to pick one person, and when it comes to aunts, frankly, Khloe’s more responsible than Kim.
“That doesn’t mean that I don’t think you’re a great aunt, and I know Mason loves to hang out with you,” she admits. “You guys take pictures, you guys take videos, you guys read books, you like to watch movies…” It’s not about whether she’s a good aunt. Plus, she’s got a responsibility picked out for Kim — the financial aspect. Kim agrees that it makes sense to have her manage her finances. “At least I feel included, and I know I would make the right decision in that area.”
Now that Kris is not looking past her death anymore (thank goodness), it’s time to celebrate her life at a winery in Malibu. Rob’s invited some of her friends, and Kris is impressed with the soiree. And, surprise! Rob has a new tattoo of his mom to match the other tattoo he has of his late father. She admits it’s a little crazy, but it is sweet.
Well, it’s just another week in the life of the Kardashians, isn’t it? Next week, Oprah descends on Casa de Jenner!
Tonight’s episode ofKeeping Up With the Kardashians was all about bracing for the hereafter. Kris Jenner decides it’s time for her and Bruce Jenner to start planning their future, but the family isn't so cooperative.
The episode begins withKim deciding she’d like to get Mason a present for his little sister’s birth. What to get, what to get?
Meanwhile, Kris calls her mother M.J., and she wants to know where her father’s ashes are located. This definitely sets the tone for what’s to come.
When Kim visits Mason, she brings a little gift: pet fish! Ruh roh. Kourtney and Scott aren’t too thrilled about the new addition to their home, especially since Kourt’s not a pet person, but Mason loves it. He calls his new friends Fruity and Pebbles, presumably after his favorite cereal.
Kris talks to Bruce about what she has been through with M.J. and says that she doesn’t want her children to go through such a trauma. Kris brings up the issue of burial versus cremation with Bruce. He’s not too interested in discussing such a thing at the moment, but even he must know that once Kris sets her mind to something, it’s going to happen.
Speaking of passage, either Fruity or Pebbles has already kicked the bucket. Khloe sends it to the beyond via toilet flush and realizes she’ll have to replace it. For Kourtney, this is exactly the problem she was trying to avoid.
When Kris calls a family meeting about the subject of her passing, Kim’s pretty blunt about the matter. There’s nothing to discuss — you die, you get buried, your family movies on. Khloe andRob share a jovial attitude about the whole discussion.
Kourtney sets off to replace the deceased fish with Kim and Khloe, and rather than having to replace each fish individually, she decides to invest in an aquarium. Mason’s delighted, obviously.
Then, Kris, Rob, and Bruce meet up to discuss their funeral arrangements, and Bruce jokes about wanting to be buried above ground. Khloe’s not a big fan of this convo, that’s for sure. Kris decides she wants to buy a whole wall of the mausoleum for the family. When the fam continues their joking attitude about the whole thing, Kris begins to think Khloe and Kim are excited about planning the mausoleum. Kim says she’s just curious. “Why not go out and have like a fab resting place?” she wonders.
Kourtney calls about the fish dying and Kim says she’ll replace it. Kourtney snaps a photo of the fish so she can get the same type. Otherwise, Mason might figure out what happened. But Bruce thinks he can learn a lesson about death and heaven from it.
Over at the funeral home, Kris decides the only way to find out if a casket fits is to literally get in it. Rob’s pretty weirded out at the sight, but that’s Kris for ya!
Back at the house, Rob is still spooked about the subject du jour. He thinks she’s getting carried away and messing with their emotions. Kourtney and Khloe agree — they don’t want to think about it.
Kris, however, is extending her reach. What if Kourtney and Scott die? Who’d take care of Mason? Kim says she should ask Kourtney about her plan and Kris calls her up. Kourtney is not impressed with the question, but she does have an answer. “It’s none of anyone’s business,” she snaps, but she admits it “ain’t either of you… It’s Khloe, and it’s not a family decision, it’s my decision.” Obviously, Kim’s miffed. She’s a little taken aback and hurt that Kourtney doesn’t see her as the one.
Bruce shows up to Kourtney’s house. She starts off by blathering about the choice of style for the new baby, but Bruce is here to talk about the fish. He thinks she needs to be frank with Mason about it, and he has a book to help. Mase comes in and admits to loving books, especially the ones about being a new big brother to the baby that’s “in Mommy’s belly.” Too cute!
Over at Khloe’s, Kim’s dissing her shoe collection, but what she really wants to talk about is the situation with guardianship. “Action should speak louder than words. You weren’t there,” Kim says, telling Khloe that she's spent a lot of time with Mason. Khloe’s not impressed. Just because she wasn’t around one time doesn’t mean Kim spends more time with him. Khloe thinks Kim has no reason to be angry.
Kourtney’s checking out the new baby’s clothes when Scott notices the fish tank is gone. Kourtney says it’s too hard to take care of them, and she noticed Mason hasn’t said a word about it, so she got rid of it.
Meanwhile, Khloe notices that Kris is getting even more morbid about the whole death thing. She’s sent over flowers to choose from now. Rob doesn’t want to talk about it. He’s got a picture of Kris trying out the coffins and it's pretty terrifying. She’s clearly taken it way too far.
Khloe and Rob head out to lunch with Kris, and when Kris orders herself a vodka for lunch (as opposed to Khloe’s champagne), Rob calls her an alcoholic. Kris explains that it has lower calories than other booze, but that’s not the real issue anyway. The kids have had enough of all this funeral talk. Time to put this issue to rest (pun intended).