Credit: Pacific Coast News    
Share on Facebook0Share on Google+0Tweet about this on Twitter0

The Bachelorette

Top 10 Quotes From Bachelor Pad 3, Episode 5: “The Smartest Thing Holly Ever Did Was Dump You and Marry Blake”

Ouch! So many questions after Bachelor Pad 3, Episode 5. Did they change the rules to help Chris Bukowski, because the show would have no drama without him? Was Michael Stagliano wrong to lie to Erica Rose or was it just good strategy that backfired, thanks to Chris’s counter-move? (Why was Chris allowed to show Erica his vote when no one has ever done that before?) More importantly, is it OK to wear pigtails on a date — at age 34? Is Wes Hayden’s trademark tune going to become the official song of The Bachelor franchise? Is Kalon McMahon really redeeming himself or should we be wary, since he’s still using phony terms like “process” instead of talking like a grown-ass man?

Speaking of grown-ass men, barf about that twist, Chris Harrison! Our favorite BP2 winner was just getting close to Rachel Truehart and Erica was great for quotes. Oh well. As we mourn their passing, hold your tiaras high and read these 10 quotes from tonight’s drama-fest.

10. Michael: “I need to take a shower after I’m done with tonight’s rose ceremony.”
Just go join Ed in the cold tub.

9. Kalon [to Lindzi Cox]: “I cannot get enough of you.”
Please don’t tell me you have a daughter at home.

8. Blakeley [on Tony]: "If he were to give the rose to Sarah, I'll break his big toe."
Heck with Hooters, this girl should work for the mob.

7. Kalon: "Yeah, I'm a liar. You want me to elaborate on that?"
Yes. At least your lies are witty.

6. Blakeley [on her plate-balancing experience]: "I'm so glad I worked at Hooters for 13 years."
She is an expert on cup size...

5. Kalon [on Blakeley and Tony]: “I kind of see her as a praying mantis. I’m afraid she’s going to f--k him and bite his head off.”
Nah, she’ll just donkey punch him in the throat.

4. Blakeley Jones: "What would I compare Chris to? [Lifts foot] The sh-t on the bottom of my shoe."
So it’s crazy-like-a-fox glue that’s impossible to scrape off?

3. Kalon [to Lindzi]: “Finding you was the most pleasant surprise I could've ever dreamed of… because I'm actually, possibly, maybe in love with the person I'm actually spending time with."
As opposed to actually, possibly, maybe in a West Virginia hood rat fist fight with Emily Maynard.

2. Chris [screaming at Ed Swiderski]: "You don't have to f--king scream at me! I'm a grown-ass man! You can talk to me like a grown-ass man! You don't have to scream!"
Next time just yell profanity in response, like a grown-ass man!

1. Erica: “The smartest thing Holly ever did was dumping you and marrying Blake. That’s the smartest decision she ever made. Because at least she’s with a real man that’s honest and doesn’t lie.”
Hmm. Did Erica even watch BP2? There was a girl on the show named Erica Rose whose game was basically ruined by Blake's connection to Holly. And Melissa may disagree with the honest real man part.