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Real Housewives of New Jersey

“I Want to Do You in One of These Vineyards!” and Other S%$! The Real Housewives Say

While the Napa Valley RV trip was all gumdrops and daisies last week, Sunday’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was decidedly less sweet. The gals (and the guys) dropped the niceties, and brought some of that famous Jersey class to the West Coast.

We somehow managed to narrow down the verbal gems, so see below for our top 10 quotes from Season 4, Episode 16: “Whine Country.”

1. Teresa Giudice, to husband Joe: “Do you want to bang me in the a**? Do you want to stick your finger up my a**? What? I’m trying to make him smile!”

Make him smile, or make us lose our lunch?

2. Melissa Gorga: “When you’re on the cover of the magazine, it is no longer between your husband and you. It is between you and the world.”

Not sure Life & Style has gone global quite yet.

3. Lauren Manzo, on Teresa: “If there’s somebody that is constantly screwing people, that is doing things that are morally incorrect, then why would I want to hang around these people?”

For the entertainment?

4. Teresa: “Hon, I want to do you in one of these vineyards!”
Joe Giudice: “I’m not even gonna listen to you.”

Neither are we.

5. Melissa, to Teresa: “How about a sex tape? Since you’re such a media whore, that will really put you out there.”

It worked for Kim Kardashian ...

6. Richie Wakile: “Kathy, I love you! Come here with a broom!”

What a sweet talker!

7. Lancaster Estates winemaker: “These [wine barrels] cost about a 1000 dollars a piece.”
Joe Giudice: “I can get them for about $800 or $850.”

Did they fall off a truck somewhere ...?

8. Joe Gorga, on the wine: “This tastes like my wife, baby. Fine, smooth fine.”

Does he rehearse these lines?

9. Kathy Wakile, on the Lancaster Estates wine cave: “My grandfather had a cave just like this. I’m not a stranger to a drink, or two, or three.”

Good, you’ll need it.

10. Lauren Manzo: “Vito loves dancing, he loves moving his hips like a woman.”

The sign of a good man.