Our obsession with True Blood knows no bounds (much like Bill's middle-parted hair), but do you end each episode immersed in a bloody puddle of WTF? We're right there with you, Team Eric. Our jaws constantly drop at the OMG-inducing antics in Bon Temps, and it's time to check out the biggest WTF moments from the season finale!
1. Morella Welps a Litter of Mutant Babies
After years of watching Sookie and Bill permanently stain various surfaces in Bon Temps with their lovemaking (so many bodily fluids, so little time), you'd think we'd be used to faerie orgasms by now. But nothing could have prepared us for Morella's labor pains, which rendered us both deaf and blind. Who knows if it was her glow-in-the-dark vagina, or the fact that she was sexually aroused while dem babies were being born, but the whole thing was completely magical. We expect those kiddos to sprout unicorn horns any day now.
2. No One Notices That Jason Has Imaginary Friends
Apparently Jason hit his head on a tree, has a giant dent in his head, and no one has bothered to A) take him to a hospital, or B) inquire about the fact that he's having conversations with imaginary hillbillies. While we appreciate that Jason has such an active imagination (much like his elementary-school level peers), we're thinking that Sookie should take Ghost Daddy to a doctor.
3. Bill Swats a Fly, Looks Crazy While Doing So
You guys, Bill is a man on the brink. After a busy week decapitating his coworkers, becoming a cannibal, and memorizing the Bible, Big Willy just wants to chill out in his cashmere sweater and suck on a few aortas. Unfortunately, Sam morphed into a pesky fly, causing Bill to padaburé around Authority HQ like the hopped-up vampire version of Billy Elliot.
4. Morella Experiences an Unusual Pregnancy Craving
We'd like to congratulate the True Blood writer who decided Morella should waltz into Merlotte's and binge eat a bunch of salt. But for future reference, salt causes water retention, which is not good for pregnant lady cankles. Think of your cankles, Morella. Think of them.
5. Bill and Salome Have Sex, We Continue to Suffer in Silence
Look, Bill. We know you have "needs" and "urges," but please, for the sake of pinkie rings the world over, stop doing it with biblical temptresses Salome. Last time we heard grunting noises like this was when Alcide was doing push ups in our fantasies, and we don't want that memory tarnished.
6. Rosalyn Eats Sam, Promptly Explodes
Revenge is a dish best served cold, and there's nothing more chilling than a fly buzzing into your mouth, morphing into a human, and exploding your insides — just ask Rosalyn. Oh wait, you can't — her remains are currently covering Sam's naked body! In other news, we're worried about Emma. Last week, she was almost force-fed V, the week before, her dad was murdered, and this week, she witnessed a vampire explosion. Girl is going to need so much therapy.
7. The Era of Billith Is Upon Us
All our dreams are coming true. Our favorite confederate soldier/British punk rocker melted into a puddle of goo, only to be reborn into a man/woman named Billith. We don't know much about this mysterious creature and his incisors, but we do know that Billith is naked and doesn't seem to have any intention of getting dressed. In other words, we approve — even though he might snack on Sookie.
What moment was the most WTF-worthy for you, Truebies? Share your favorite scenes in the comments below!