Disick Half Dozen? Scott [to Kourtney, about how many kids she wants]: That's six ... I don’t want to be outnumbered by my children
The Only Guaranteed Form of Birth Control Scott: There’s no way to have sex with you ever again. Kourtney: (Shrugging) Okay.
Don't Call Mom Old(-Fashioned) Kylie [to Kris]: You are sixty years old and you have Jordans. So I stole them.
Stay Perky Kris: Who’s kidding who? The times are changing, and my boobs have to keep up.
Light Meat or Dark Meat? Khloe [to Kourtney about Scott]: The back side of his body is albino, and the front is like leather.
It’s the Drugs Talking Kylie: I’m actually starting to think my mom should get more surgery because she’s telling us we can get anything in her closet.
29 Years Old, 2 Kids and Counting Scott: I’m too young to have fifteen kids running around. That’s why, you know, I may have to snip ‘em … I’m not going to tell her, I’ll just be shooting blanks ... I gotta take things into my own hands, no pun intended, and I gotta snip snip where I gotta be snipped.
One of Each, Please! Scott [to Kris]: It’s not a drive through at all [but] I got the combo, no biscuit.
Stitches Galore Khloe: They’re like Frankenstein boobs.
Vas Deferens of Opinions Scott [to Kourtney]: I was just checking my options. So now you’re getting a little bit of your own medicine on how you treat me.
The Dirty Drawer Kendall [while snooping through Kris’s bedroom]: Fifty Shades of Grey? Mom!?
Don’t Let “What Ifs” Get You Down Khloe [at the fertility clinic]: What if eggs don’t come?