There were many tears this week — but not, for once, Victoria Henley crying for her mother. Not that we would’ve minded that, since Queen Victoria is our resident obsession. (Sorry, Laura James! Not even slightly obsessed with you.) Instead, Laura, Leila and Brittany Brown dominated the tear pool, with Laura joining forces with Kristin Kagay for a full blonde ambition tour, complete with extreme self-obsession and an even more extreme fear of heights. Seriously, it’s bad enough to have one “B**ch Barbie” — are we going to have to deal with two? No one could withstand that much high school cheerleader snobbery. Until we meet again, Lady Leila...
LAURA IS READY TO TAG-TEAM MEAN GIRL DUTIES WITH KRISTIN Laura said she’s never had that “double zero up and down little boy figure,” so she thinks it’s amazing that she’s in this competition, representing girls who are amazing and strong. She didn’t mention it, but she’s also representing drop-dead gorgeous girls who are 6 feet tall — literally — and have a famous dads. (OK, semifamous. Her dad played Jeff Colby on Dynasty.) Leila is “obsessed” with Laura, or so some of the not-so-nice models decided. Laura comes from a good home and Leila apparently had it rougher growing up, so she admitted she envies Laura. (But she shouldn’t envy Laura’s extreme blonde eyebrows.) Laura won best photo last week and she got to pick someone else to hang out with in The Tyra Suite. Leila picked Laura when she won, but this time Laura picked … (dun dun DUN!) …. Kristin.
LAURA VS. LEILA Laura and Kristin snarked about Leila in The Tyra Suite and Leila responded by telling Laura she was obsessed with herself. Laura started sobbing, ‘cause that’s what people used to say about her in school. (Well...) The whole thing exploded in front of everyone else. Ladies! Ladies! The truth is, no one is obsessed with either of you. We’re all too busy being obsessed with Victoria. But, really, didn’t it feel like a set-up for later in the season? Like, Leila vs. Laura at some point? Finale, anyone? Leila coming back? Later, Laura declared that Leila shouldn’t be America’s Next Top Model because she can’t walk. Laura feels like she deserves to win more than Leila, because she’s the full package. Apparently the ANTM package now includes a cliquish high school attitude. Take that, CoverGirl contract!
ALICIA KEYS MAKES MODELS CRY … AND SING Kiara Belen, always primed for drama, lost her mind when she saw Alicia Keys and her curly hair in the house. She started singing at Alicia — in front of everyone — as if she were still playing the Hollywood diva from last week. Laura also started sobbing for some reason, like a replay of Victoria talking to her mom on the phone. How is Mrs. Henley doing this week? If only we knew...
FASHION SHOW CHALLENGE Tyra Banks said the models would be doing a fashion show for Alicia’s charity, Keep a Child Alive. The show was held that very night, based around Alicia’s song, Girl on Fire, which sounds like a tribute to Katniss Everdeen of The Hunger Games. The models had to come up with a concept for how they looked, style-wise. Laura was group leader, which was a nice bit of karma because it put her in the path of Kelly “Cutthroat” Cutrone. Talk about girl on fire. Kelly breathes it every day! Kelly was surprised that Kristin, who is relatively short, looked like a real model on the runway. Leila, sounding near tears, told the camera that Kristin is a bad person and doesn’t deserve to be there. Victoria said Allyssa Vuelma was “grinning a hole” through the audience like it was a beauty pageant. Tyra shouted out for Leila to move her arms while she was walking. Laura sniffed that Leila probably showed up thinking she had a great runway walk, but Tyra wasn’t into it. But Tyra probably wouldn’t shout out direction to a girl with no potential. She’d just whisper something to her companions, shake her head and prepare to dump the girl.
Tyra said Victoria, Laura and Kiara stood out the most. The girl that raised the most money for Keep a Child Alive was ... Kiara. Apparently it was a landslide. Second challenge win in a row for her. Once again … really? Allyssa had the lowest challenge score, at 5. Yvonne Powless and Leila both got 6s. Not good.
CHEERLEADER PHOTO SHOOT Not one of their best shoots, to be honest. The models had a tough time posing while in the air. Maybe they should’ve just had the girls model on the ground with those hot shirtless male cheerleaders. Allyssa actually hit one of the guys in the head and made him bleed. He should get paid extra for that. Laura is really scared of heights, so even though she was just bouncing a few feet above the ground, she cried about it. Again. At least her eyebrows looked good bright pink! She should keep that color. And then she should stop crying. Leila was mad that Kristin did well, but she said it was because Kristin is a cheerleader, not a model. (Don’t stoop, Leila. Don’t go to their level.) Johnny Wujek said Leila got stuck on “duck face,” whatever that is. Johnny loved Nastasia Scott, saying she was in it to win it. Heck yeah. Nastasia’s one of the good ones.
1. Nastasia — Best photo! Tyra Suite next week, which probably means a trip for Kiara. Rob Evans called this shot “crazy,” which is his favorite compliment. Kelly loved the shot. She’s owning the moment, Kelly said, but her face is a tiny bit too fierce for her. Tyra said the shot was powerful. It was dang good. One guy online named David found her too sexy. He keeps finding her too sexy. What he’s trying to say is, “Nastasia, bring that sexy to me.”
2. Laura — Rob said it looked like a little girl got really angry and threw her Barbie doll. (But B**tch Barbie Kristin is her BFF!) Kelly thought it was disturbing but she liked it. Tyra said it was weird and odd and could be in Nylon magazine. Laura cried again, talking about heights. Tyra said she played her fear into a strength. Really? Bouncing a few feet in the air?
3. Kristin — Rob, who has been hard on Kristin, admitted that her shot was “crazy,” in a good way. He loved the shot. Kelly loved it too. Tyra called her shot “gorgeous” but she saw cheerleader not model. Kelly said Kristin could be in a ton of super cool magazines. It’s Tyra vs. Kelly today! Fans at home still love Kristin, which is sad. Sad, people! Rob gave her a 10 for this. Wow.
4. Kiara — Kelly didn’t love her face shot. Tyra disagreed, saying her skin was luminescent. Rob said there’s nothing sadder than a beautiful bird that can’t fly. Too true, lovah. Bryanboy said folks at home thought her face was sad.
5. Victoria — Not enough of Queen Vic in this episode. Just saying. Correct next week, editors. Kelly didn’t like Victoria’s body posture. “You look like a middle age man who’s about to take a nap on a new bed.” (Ha!) Rob liked the photo. Tyra thought it was “amazing.” All over the place, these guys! Bryanboy loved the pic too. Social media wise, she’s doing pretty well.
6. Yvonne — The judges loved her shot. Really? This was one of the worst.
7. Allyssa — Kelly called her shot “show pony carnival gone bad.” Tyra said she saw cheerleader, model and sexy woman. Bryanboy said Allyssa is middle of the road average to fans at home.
BOTTOM TWO Nooo! Horrible bottom two. These two should both be safe. Half a point separated the two.
Leila — Rob loved her body, but said she has a one-dimensional face. Kelly, love this, said “It looks like you’ve been bit on the eye by a mosquito at a drag queen slumber party.” She’s so specific! Everyone thinks Leila needs to step up. Kelly even gave her a 4 this week. Yikes.
Brittany — Kelly didn’t like this shot at all. She thought, in the beginning, that Brittany would do well. Rob thought she wouldn’t do well but she’s proving him wrong. He thinks she could do all the way. Kelly argued with Rob too. Brittany cried on the runway. There was some discussion about how she’s too Disney sweet. Huh. She seems to be doing well from here.
ELIMINATED Leila! No! No! No! Bad call! Bring her back!
SUGGESTION Let us vote online in a few weeks, based on what we’ve seen, to bring someone back in a special live finale. If they can do a special finale for All-Stars, after that weird Angelea Preston disqualification that will never be properly explained, they can do a special finale for this. We’re the fourth judge and we have spoken!
Catch the next episode ofAmerica's Next Top Model Cycle 19: College Edition on Friday, September 28 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on The CW.
Gina Carbone is a contributing writer at Wetpaint Entertainment. Follow her on Twitter@ginacarbone.