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The X Factor

WTF Moments From X Factor Season 2, Episode 6: Simon Cowell Reveals His Most Sinister Secret

The X Factor — filled with joy, passion, Danny Zuko hair coifs (looking at you, Demi), and WTFs. So, so many WTFs. While very moment was even more fabulous that the thought of Simon Cowell murdering cats, we've rounded up the top five for you to look back on. Enjoy, Cowellettes!

1. Where Are We? No Really, Like Where Are We?
Remember back in the day (last week), when The X Factor editors actually bothered to let us know where auditions were taking place? Now we just jump around to random cities while the editorial interns splice images of fog and thunderstorms in between auditions. Sigh, all we know is what we see in the credits: The X Factor exists in space with tons of galaxies. Also there is a big X-shaped planet zooming through the sky next to Saturn. Science!

2. Trevor Is Our Personal Muse, Someone Please Get Him Water
We're concerned about Trevor. This poor little angel and his mushroom cut suffered a spell of dehydration, and instead of carrying him to Britney Spears' chamber and plopping him in her tufted bed, the X Factor producers lay him in the corner of a linoleum floor and gave him some gatorade. They didn't even break out the Pepsi, you guys. Not even the mysterious flavors known as Dragon, Ice, and Fire. Shaking our heads at you, Simon.

3. Simon Hates Love, Feelings, Emotions, and Happiness
The only person Simon loves in this cruel, uncertain world is the patch of chest hair that peeps out of his V-neck. You see, while the rest of us melted into a puddle of swoons at Owen Stuart's tender love for his girlfriend, Simon was more interested in how far his pupils could roll back into his eyes. Clearly this grumpy bloke would understand if he bothered to date a teenager named Tori. Which he hasn't. Thank god.

4. Simon Cowell: Cat Killer
Simon just wants to be accepted for who he is, guys. Yes, he is kind of mean and deranged, but it's all because of this one time back in the 90s (we assume, everything horrible happened then) when he sat on two cats and may or may not have killed them. The ever-present fear that PETA might have him arrested has traumatized Simon, and clearly he just needs to be hugged by Demi Lovato's lone tear.

5. Britney's Happy Face Is Actually A Sad Face
Britney's face is usually one of agony, concern and confusion, but every so often she gets excited and makes all three faces at once. We call this her happy face, which she broke our during Freddie Combs' performance of "Wind Beneath My Wings." You're welcome for this, world.

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09.28.2012 / 07:54 PM EDT by Mehera Bonner
Related: The X Factor, Simon Cowell

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