10. We suppose this is one way to go green. Santana(Naya Rivera): My first week there, I heard a rumor that all the water in Louisville is just purified runoff from the Kentucky Derby stables.
9. Kitty is the only person who deals with a break-up by doing some political analysis. Kitty (Becca Tobin): You’re both gonna regret this turn of events because I will tell you one more thing: Obama’s gonna lose.
8. It’s nice that Kurt is taking advantage of all the live entertainment that NYC has to offer. Kurt(Chris Colfer)[about his lunch]:I’m gonna take this down to the park and watch drug deals go down.
7. Barack Obama is getting some rough treatment in this episode. Brittany (Heather Morris): It’s the ninth book in the Left Behind series of the Apocalyptic Christian novels about the end times and the rise of the Antichrist, whose name is Nicolae Carpathia — or Barack Obama, depending on who you ask.
6. At least Jesus knows where to find good deals on airfare. Kitty: Y’all are sinners, and you’d better get right with God toot sweet because Jesus just logged onto Orbitz and booked himself a plane ticket back to Earth. See, he’s got an awesome dad named God who’s throwing him a bitchin’ party called Armageddon, where he’s gonna get to kick off his sandals, dance a little bit, and judge the crap out of everybody.
4. If you’re looking for a self-esteem boost, Kitty is not the person to turn to. Kitty: I heard they’re opening up a new Ronald McDonald house in Lima, just for you and your finger-licking, lard-loving, Gilbert Grape-looking mama.
3. According to Santana, there’s only one reason to read A Room of One’s Own. Santana: She smiled a little too long, which means she was either crazy or a lesbian. Judging by the stack of Virginia Woolf she was reading, she was into me.
2. Kitty is ready to take a Louisville slugger to both headlights. Kitty[to Jake]:You do not wanna break up with me, m’kay? I am like a bad Carrie Underwood song once I get going.
1. Now this is the Santana we know and love. Santana: I just think it’s insane that all Porcelain had to do to get an internship at Vogue.com is take photos of every ridiculous outfit he’s ever paired with a Cossack hat and a see-through raincoat, and then show up at an interview where he’s lauded as a visionary because his jodhpurs happen to match his riding crop.