WTF Moments From X Factor Judges’ Houses Part 2: Lip-Licking and Bird Calls
Last night, we took a trip to a magical land filled with unicorns and fairy tramp stamps, otherwise known as Britney Spears' house. Being in Brit's love nest made our X Factor experience 100% flawless, yet there were still a few WTF moments to mine from that special cave of sparkly diamonds and cheez whiz.
Enjoy, brave souls!
1. Camera Zooms In On Biebs Licking His Lips Look, cameraman / cameralady. We know you are probably a middle-aged Twi-hard with a deep love for Justin Bieber, but we don't need to see The Biebs' lips magnified and moistened by his soft tongue. Actually wait — we do. Please accept our apologies for everything written above.
2. David Correy Is Essentially Wearing A Top Hat We're so worried about David Correy's personal style. Not to mention the fact that he still hasn't found his birth mother (where are you lady, seriously?!). It appears that David is living in a 1800s fantasy land, where men wear jaunty top hats... and also happen to be covered in tattoos. Sigh, The X Factor is a sartorial mess, and we blame fedoras.
3. L.A. Slips Into Zen State Of Bliss We've seen L.A. fall asleep into a blissful cat nap during almost every episode of X Factor, but this week he took it to a whole new level of zen while listening to his performers. That's right, L.A's thumb and pointer finger were joined together in ecstasy as he assumed his natural yogi position. He was basically in lotus, and we're pretty sure he entered a mystical alternate universe filled with Pepsi and head oil.
4. Tara Makes A Series of Noises. Birds Proceed To Fly Into Windows And Die Tara Simon has an outstanding voice, but we're not comfortable with her warm-up bird calls. Mostly because they caused us temporary deafness, and caused all the birds in L.A Reid's yard to fall down dead. Then again, if this is what Tara must put us through to get that stellar vocal range, who are we to stop her? Paint with all the colors of the wind, girl.
5. Britney Pretty Much Hates On Everyone Britney is a tough cookie to crack (mmmm, cookies), and she was pretty unimpressed by most of her contestants. Who, we might remind you, are all small, innocent children. But if you think Brit's going to be nice to her fleet of tender-hearted youthlings, think again. Even Diamond's epic performance of "I'm With You" caused her to eye-roll. On a side note, we fear for Reed Deming's hair.
6. will.i.am Has Mysteriously Long Beard will.i.am's extremely long and pointy beard holds all the secrets. In fact, we think the X Factor winner might be living inside it. That is all.