Wherein The Ogre Is Like, “I Think There’s Something In My Eye”
Who had any idea that Emma would be so trusting? With Emma and Cora both in Mulan’s pit and Snow still out cold, Emma practically becomes besties with Cora, as Cora reveals that her daughter is Regina and that Cora’s here because of something Regina did. Cora also mentions that they’re on an island, meaning that this show really is getting to be more and more like Lost.
Snow wakes up and tells Emma that Cora is far worse than Regina, but Emma — refusing to believe that her mother knows best — trusts Cora enough to tell her about Henry. (Given what a chatty mood Emma was in, we’re just relieved that Emma didn’t give Cora any other personal information, like, “My son’s name is Henry — oh, and here’s my ATM password, in case you want it...”)
Emma and Snow are summoned from the pit by the leader — who turns out to be Snow’s old pal Lancelot. Hug time! Lancelot says it’s a mystery why the people in this region survived the curse, and that finding this safe haven required some spilled blood. Snow is determined to find a portal, and so Lancelot sends Mulan with them to ward against ogres. Then again, maybe the real reason Snow was so quick to leave was to avoid eating that gross chimera. (Part serpent? Sounds delish!)
This journey is fraught with tension. And sure, most road trips involve some bickering, but the bickering is usually more along the lines of “I’m tired of listening to this radio station” and less along the lines of “You’re responsible for the death of my loved one, and so I’m gonna stab you in the neck with a dagger.” So with Mulan, Aurora, and Snow all fighting, Emma does what any sensible person would do to settle a dispute: She grabs a gun and lets ‘er rip.
The gunshot quickly alerts an ogre to their presence. Apparently, Emma’s boots weren’t made for fleeing, as she trips, allowing the ogre to breathe on her and stuff. (Judging by Emma’s face, we’re guessing that the ogre could use an Altoid.) Luckily, Snow saves the day by shooting an arrow in the ogre’s eye. Katniss Everdeen, eat your heart out.
Wherein Cora Plays Dress-Up
Back in Storybrooke, Henry learns from Jefferson that Regina’s vault is in Storybrooke, so he snags her keys as she’s packing up her office. Henry searches through the vault to find a way to join Emma and Snow, but instead he finds the two-headed viper that killed Snow’s dad. Thankfully, David is there to save him and says they can work together. And then they lock the evil snake back up without food or water or anything. (In other words, don’t tell PETA.)
The group finally reaches their destination: Snow’s former home, where they hope to find the wardrobe and bring it with them back to the safe haven. Suddenly, who should show up but Lancelot, who appears to have an unexpected interest in the wardrobe. (Medieval knights are known for their appreciation of well-crafted wooden furniture, right?)
When Lancelot mentions Henry’s name, Snow then draws her sword, realizing that Cora has turned herself into Lancelot. Cora turns back into her female form and reveals that she killed Lancelot long ago because, well, she really likes killing people (or something like that).
She’s about to do the same to Snow when Emma saves the day by opening up a bullet with her bare hands (by the way, MacGuyver would be proud) and setting the wardrobe on fire. Mulan then jumps in and protects Emma from Cora’s fireball because that’s what friends do - they protect each other from fireballs.
Wherein We Learn That At All Times, Someone Is Probably Watching You From a Parked Car
Cora vanishes and Emma finally gives Snow a little love. Mulan also decides that, from now on, Snow is the leader. (In other words, it’s a big day for Snow.) They leave, at which point Cora returns to scoop up the wardrobe ash in her magic bottle, which she’ll probably use to create a portal. See, people — bad things happen when you don’t clean up after yourself.
And in the final scene, Jefferson reunites with his daughter Grace, and then we zoom out to see Henry sitting in a car and sadly watching this reunion. Fortunately, David shows up with wooden swords and offers to teach Henry how to chop off people’s heads (or something like that).
And then we zoom out again and see that David and Henry are being watched from a car by Albert Spencer, a.k.a. King George. So does George still want to punish David? Or will he try to assert his authority as king somehow? Regardless, we kept waiting for the camera to zoom out yet again, and to find out that someone is sitting in a car and spying on George. Apparently, the people in Storybrooke love to spy on other people from cars.
Wherein Lake Nostros Is a Shell of Its Former Self
In this week’s Fairytale Land flashback, King George tricks Snow into drinking a potion that will prevent her from giving birth, which happened to his own true love. But Lancelot — also referred to as Leviathan, a word which which means “whale” (hmmm...) — helps her reunite with Charming at his mom’s cabin, where Charming has single-handedly defeated a team of knights. Those knights should be very ashamed.
Sadly, the battle has also left Charming’s mom with a poison arrow through her chest, and the only cure is to take her to Lake Nostros. However, when they get there, the lake is dried up because Charming killed the siren who protected it. Of course, if we were Charming, we would have just blamed the dry lake on global warming.
Charming’s mom tells Snow that all Charming wants in life is a wife and child, which Snow now knows she can’t provide. Charming’s mom also learns this when she holds a gender-determining pendant in front of Snow’s stomach (and who doesn’t carry a gender-determining pendant with them wherever they go?).
Lancelot has managed to find a teensy shell containing a drop of lake water, so Charming’s mom drinks it, and then she says that her one lament is that she won’t get to see her son get married to Snow. So that’s when Snow is like, “Ruth, I have two words: ‘Vegas, baby!’” Wait, no — we don’t think there’s a Vegas in Fairytale Land (that we know of), but Lancelot is able to marry them, and Snow drinks from a wedding chalice.
Then, Charming holds the pendant in front of Snow and it moves, meaning that Ruth didn’t drink the lake water but Snow did, as Lancelot had poured it into the wedding chalice. It turns out, Lancelot saved the day, even though it would have been a lot cooler if he had officiated that wedding while dressed as Elvis.
Top Three Biggest Mysteries of the Night:
- It appears that Cora just might win the race to return to Storybrooke, as she now can apparently use the wardrobe’s ashes as a portal. And we’re especially concerned about this because she could perhaps return to Storybrooke and shapeshift into either Emma or Snow, now that we know she’s capable turning herself into other people. This is a power that could be used either for evil or for winning every Halloween costume contest ever.
- Why exactly does that region of Fairytale Land remain unaffected by the curse? We’re thinking that Cora may have managed to use her powers to shield that area, or maybe Regina knew her mother was there and decided to spare it? And speaking of Cora, did she really kill Lancelot, or might he still be alive and hiding out somewhere?
- Lots of new mysteries now abound with King George’s ominous appearance as he watches David in Storybrooke. We assume that we’ll soon find out why it is that his true love was cursed with sterility, and we’re also wondering what it is that he wants with David. It’s possible that George is still looking to make David’s life less than pleasant — perhaps by preventing Snow’s return to Storybrooke? — or maybe he just wants more power. Either way: Bad news, no?
Catch the next new episode of Once Upon a Time on Sunday, October 21 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.