Top 15 Damon Snarks from The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 2, “Memorial”
Damon Salvatore is the snark king of Mystic Falls. Sure, he mumbles and has a tendency to smirk. But oh — the things that come out of his mouth. So what witticisms did prime time’s finest bloodsucker drop this week? Here are Damon’s best zingers from Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 2, “Memorial.” 15. A little disagreement about process Damon: She’s going to go off the rails eventually anyway, Stefan. So the faster we can make that happen, the sooner we can get her back on track. 14. If it walks like a duck… Damon, to Elena: Am I wearing my “I-blew-up-the-town-council” T-shirt? Why does everybody keep asking me that? 13. Narcissism at its finest Damon, to Sheriff Forbes: Well, don’t look at me like that I always take credit for killing people. 12. Unleash the beast Elena: You’re still not on board with the animal plan? Damon: Nope. I say rip off the proverbial band-aid, and let it bleed. You’re a vampire. Be a vampire. 11. It’s called venison Damon, to Stefan: You’d better hope she’s not a fan of Bambi 10. Extreme diets never work Damon, to Stefan: You name me one vampire who went on the bunny diet and didn’t kill dozens. 9. She has to crawl before she walks Damon, to Stefan: She can’t learn to control the bloodlust if she’s never actually experienced the bloodlust. It’s a cheat. It’s like giving a kid a calculator before they know match. 8. The logic is unquestionable Damon, to Sheriff Forbes: If I was going to kill a bunch of people, I wouldn’t blow them up. I’d have a dinner party.
7. Frenemies are the worst Liz, about the council members: They were my friends. Damon: Well, your friends tried to kill your daughter.
6. No way Elena didn’t know that Damon: Just don’t tell Stefan Elena: Why not? Damon: Because... blood-sharing is kind of personal.
5. That’s some welcome party Damon: So what brings you to Mystic Falls? Bible salesman? Connor: No actually I’m in environmental clean-up. I heard you had a bit of a pollution problem.
4. The truth hurts Damon: Your four-legged protein shake was a bust. The juice box is a no go. She can’t even keep my blood down. Stefan: She drank from you? Damon: Oops. Did I say that out loud.
3. Them’s fightin’ words Damon: You have 10 seconds before I go old fashioned on the guy.
2. Know thyself Damon: Japanese lanterns are a symbol of letting go of the past. Well, here’s a news flash: We’re not Japanese.
1. Soliloquy of the week Damon, to Alaric’s grave: What difference does it make? In the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing that you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock with a birthdate carved into it that I’m pretty sure is wrong. So, thanks friend. Thanks for leaving me here to babysit.
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