10. Hanna [to Caleb]: “You kiss pretty good for a man without his spleen.” And we all know that people without their spleens are usually terrible kissers.
9. Spencer: “This is why nobody will go out with you.” Leave it to Spencer to get personal.
8. Aria: “Ezra had to cancel on me.” Hanna: “Great!” So much for sympathy.
7. Toby [about Jenna’s costume as he covers her other eye]: “It’s very nice, but you know I liked you a lot better like this.” We admit that wearing an eye patch is an costume odd choice for a formerly blind person.
6. Mona: “It’s better than Christmas — more makeup.” Most people don’t usually rank holidays based on how much makeup they require.
5. Spencer: “You make it so hard to be a modern post-feminist when you get so alpha male.” We think the term she’s looking for to describe Toby isn’t “alpha male” but “psychopath.”
4. Jenna [to Paige, about whether she’s seen Aria]: “No, but she has a thing for authority figures, so she’s probably out with the engineer.” Well, it depends if the engineer recites poetry and owns a typewriter.
3. Hanna: “Do that again, you’ll leave with a bloody stump.” Hanna isn’t above chopping off a limb or two if she has to.
2. Aria: “Playing dress up for your man on Halloween is one thing. You do it any other night, you end up on an afternoon talk show.” Aria is hoping to avoid a lecture from Dr. Phil.
1. Hanna [about Emily and Paige]: “They look like a wedding cake from outer space.” We suppose we’d travel to outer space for a wedding, as long as there was an open bar.