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Once Upon a Time

“His Condition Is Ideal, Apart From Being Dead” Quotes From Once Upon a Time Season 2, Episode 5

The characters on Once Upon a Time might have their hands full with breaking curses and slaying dragons and what not, but that doesn’t mean they’re too busy for a good zinger. We've rounded up the 10 best quotes from this week’s episode, Season 2, Episode 5: “The Doctor,” including David deciding that talking things out with Whale just doesn’t cut it.

10. Regina: “My mother was a collector.”
Most people’s moms collect, say, souvenir spoons, not human remains.

9. Henry: “That’s not riding that’s babysitting.”
A note to Henry: Babysitting isn’t that bad, since you get to eat ice cream and watch cable after the kid goes to bed. Just sayin’.

8. Emma [to Hook]: “Maybe you’ll talk to the ogres when they rip you limb from limb.”
Actually, the ogres don’t seem particularly chatty.

7. Rumple [to Jefferson]: “Help yourself to as much gold as you deem appropriate.”
How come no one ever says this to us?

6. Whale [after David punches him for sleeping with Snow]: “Look, I didn’t know, all right? I was cursed.”
David: “Yeah, I got it.”
Cursed or not, Whale is still cruising for a bruising.

5. Captain Hook: “Good for you you bested me. I can name the amount of people that’ve done that on one hand.”
Emma: “Is that supposed to be funny?”
Emma is not a fan of wordplay.

4. Henry [to his horse]: “So... anything you want to tell me?”
Henry just might have seen too many Mr. Ed reruns.

3. Gold [to Whale]: “When they say I charge an arm and a leg, that’s meant as a figure of speech.”
Usually, Rumple removes people’s appendages, not the other way around.

2. Dr. Frankenstein [about Daniel]: “His condition is ideal apart from being dead, that is.”
Being dead is always kind of a minor setback.

1. Emma [to Hook]: “Unless you wanna be dinner, you better start talking.”
We do think that Captain Hook is scrumptious, but we don’t mean that literally.

Catch the next new episode of Once Upon a Time on Sunday, November 4 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.

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10.31.2012 / 12:24 AM EDT by Ryan Gajewski
Related: Once Upon a Time, Quotes, Season 2 Episode 5

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