5. Portia is officially the cutest thing ever! Sure, we’ve always known that Portia is ridiculously pinchable, but she’s never been as hilarious as she was this week. Heck, maybe she should be the one to talk a little sense into Kim about her voicemail etiquette? Long story short: We really want to know why Portia is just so dahling.
4. Lisa snubs Adrienne — and then Taylor spills the beans. Turns out that Lisa Vanderpump and Adrienne’s relationship is definitely not back to normal. Lisa says she’s waiting for Adrienne to apologize for her accusations at the Season 2 reunion, but in the meantime, Lisa doesn’t invite her to the Villa Blanca fete — and Taylor Armstrong accidentally fills her in. Taylor then invites Adrienne to help her shop for the party. Translation: Salt, meet wound.
3. Kyle invites Brandi to the party, so Kim says, “Thanks, but hell no no thanks.” It was great to see Kim on the road to recovery, was it not? Kim’s relationship with Kyle Richards, however, could clearly use some work. Kyle invites her to Portia’s party, but Kim tries to decline the invite when she knows Brandi Glanville will be there. Kim then flees the scene when Brandi tries to chat at Lisa’s party. No, Kim is not yet on Team Brandi.
And by the way, we’re guessing Kim’s daughter Kimberly was wishing she could flee when Kim started talking about French-kissing some dude at her prom. (There’s such a thing as a filter, Kim. You might want to give it a try.)
2. This just in: Brandi likes sex. A lot. No one is ever going to accuse Brandi of lacking libido. Brandi confirms that once again, by first buying rubber sheets for Lisa (No, Lisa, the word “strap” thankfully doesn’t mean what you think it means) and then by telling Yolanda Foster that she’s slept with the whole town. Okay, then! We knew Brandi was friendly, but we never knew how friendly.
1. When Adrienne sends flowers, she sends flowers. Buying someone flowers is a sweet gesture, but when you buy up every flower in the state and send them to an event you weren’t invited to, you’re gonna raise some eyebrows. In fact, Kyle, Taylor, and Lisa all seem perplexed by Adrienne’s ginormous flower arrangement. We just hope that Adrienne meant well, as we’d hate to assume otherwise and then need to backpedal. (Get it — “petal”?)