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Gossip Girl

Logic Fails From Gossip Girl Season 6, Episode 6, “Where the Vile Things Are”: Nate Breaks Into Serena’s Apartment

The beauty of an hour-long series in its final season is that its relationship with its audience is that of an old married couple. We’ve been with Gossip Girl for so long, we know all its spots and it knows ours — disorienting plot twists happen so fast, but we already speak the language. But sometimes, we are left scratching our heads and wondering how we let it pull those fast ones on us. Like nagging our boyfriend, we would be remiss if we didn’t say something. Here’s some weird stuff that happened during Gossip Girl Season 6, Episode 6:

1. Serena walks in on Nate looking behind paintings at her house and doesn’t care.
Everyone has that one friend who they have known for so long, all their weirdness has just kind of been camouflaged over the years. But when you bring that friend home for dinner, your parents are all “Why is Nate just pulling our paintings off the wall and running his hand around the inner edge of the frame and making mysterious phone calls about said paintings?” And you’re all, “Oh, that’s just Nate.” Because in this scenario, you are Serena (hot IRL husband not included), and we are your parents and what the hell is happening in your world that this is normal? Oh, right, nevermind. Question retracted.

2. Ivy buys an entire room full of artwork for under a million dollars.
Sometimes, we hear about parties that are so awesome, we wish we’d thrown them. In Ivy and Rufus’s case, they just buy the rights. We get that there’s some money involved, but how is it that we’re to believe that Lily would throw an event that is expected to raise under a million dollars? Think about it. There’s an entire room of artwork and it’s all going to be auctioned off and the PR dude says “Oh, we raise hundreds of thousands of dollars.” And then Ivy’s like “Here’s some pocket change” and he’s like “Oh yay” and then the ONE PAINTING Lily auctions sells for 1.1 mill. What?

3. Insultingly short shortcuts.
When we were little, we tried writing mystery stories. These consisted of 20 pages of nothing with a few words indicating something was wrong and there was no way to solve it. And then on page 21, a HUGE CLUE was discovered and then the mystery was solved by page 23 ½. Two words for you: Bass Traffic. One more word: Nope. Nope nope nopity nope. We’re supposed to believe that Nate and Chuck saw those words and then discovered there must be an envelope containing secret documents stuck to the back of a painting? Nope.

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