10. Sam wants to slam Brittany’s body down and zig-a-zig-ah. Brittany (Heather Morris): You’re a genius, and most people don’t understand geniuses — like most people didn’t appreciate Einstein or the Spice Girls until it was too late.
9. Sue is as politically incorrect, per usual. Sue(Jane Lynch)[about Tina(Jenna Ushkowitz)]:My squad’s looking a little pale these days. It wouldn’t hurt to add a dash of Yellow #4 to my championship cheer batter.
8. Perhaps Brittany would be better off? Tina[on life without glee]: I’m a drug mule in the Lima crack district. Artie(Kevin McHale): I was forced to sell my legs for science. Blaine (Darren Criss): I’m performing on the bathhouse circuit. Brittany: I’m a finance major at Brandeis. It turns out glee club was really holding me back.
7. So Brad doesn’t like being referred to as “furniture”? Brad the pianist: Do you know how demeaning it is when they just turn to you and yell, “Hit it,” and you’re just supposed to know what song they’re gonna sing? I’m free!
6. Tina discusses her brush with greatness. Tina: New Rachel, my butt. I knew Rachel Berry, I was friends with Rachel Berry — and you, Marley, are no Rachel Berry.
5. If you ask us, there’s nothing confusing about the deliciousness of Pop-Tarts. Sam (Chord Overstreet)[to Brittany]: It’s Tuesday, and I know how you forget to eat breakfast on Tuesdays ‘cause the first few days of the week tend to confuse you.
4. This actually sounds kind of fashionable. Finn (Cory Monteith) [to Artie]: It looks like a peacock died on your head.
3. Kurt is ready to get his money back from this movie. Kurt(Chris Colfer): As sympathetic as I am to this particular act of the rom-com, Rachel, you’re up.
2. Zombies eat brains, so we’re guessing they would leave Sam and Brittany alone. Sam: The Walking Dead isn’t based on a true story — I already checked.
1. You can always count on Sue for a nice pep talk. Sue: You’re all garbage. You have assassinated William McKinley all over again.