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Real Housewives of Atlanta

“Just Lay Back, We Can Put The Sperm In You!” And Other S$%! The Real Housewives of Atlanta Say!

Sunday’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta was questionable, to say the least. Questionable relationships, questionable explanations, and more than questionable strippers. But, as you know, these Georgia gals always seem to think they have the answer, so read on for our top 10 quotes from Season 5, Episode 9: “Dress Down And Strip Bare!”

10. Phaedra Parks: “Kenya’s mouth opened and I hear gold coins come out.”

We know she tends to draw attention and make loud noises, but an arcade game she is not.

9. Kenya Moore: “I really don’t have time to play nice with dumb-dumb.”

That’s a shame, because Porsha was more than ready to play with Detroit Barbie.

8. Cynthia Bailey: “In Atlanta, going to a strip club is like going to Starbucks. Everybody goes, and everybody’s a repeat customer.”

“I’ll have a non-fat, decaf vanilla latte and a lap dance to go please!”

7. Phaedra: “First, the house blessing, then the wedding! Right, Todd?”
Todd: “I thought the next step was the housewarming party ...?”

First comes love, then comes … the overwhelming pressure to get married, from a woman you barely know!

6. Kordell Stewart, on Peter Thomas: “That dude’s so black, he’s blurple.”

Best new crayola color name. Ever.

5. Phaedra, on the strippers: ”It’s beautiful to me to see women of this age, enjoying their naked bodies. It’s scrumptious!”

Sorry, we just don’t see the appeal.

4. Apollo Nida, on wife, Phaedra: “I’m dealing with a goddamn beast, man, my wife is high tempo.”

Judging by their recent baby news, we guess he learned how to keep up.

3. Peter Thomas, on the strippers: “Her breasts are 22, and she’s 90!”

Ah, the miracle of silicone!

2. NeNe Leakes: “We can hook up with homeboy around the corner and get a turkey baster. We can just suck it up and snatch it in there. Just lay back, we can put the sperm in you!”

Kenya: “Let’s call that Plan B!”

1. Apollo: “I don’t live with time restraints, time restraints are for people who have to live between the specter of the time scale.”

Is this the k or The Real Housewives?