Credit: Richard Cartwright/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney    
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Revenge Season 2 Recap: What’s Happened in the Hamptons Thus Far?

On a show like Revenge, it’s hard to keep up. Although we’ve had several weeks to refresh ourselves on the gloriousness that is Emily Thorne and her black hoodie, some people chose to spend time with their families for the holidays — weird, right? — so we’re here to give you a crash course in all things Revenge Season 2.

Thus far, the show’s had nine exhilarating episodes of revengey goodness. This season started off with Emily’s quest to find her long-lost mother, Kara Wallace Clarke. It turned out not to be such a difficult task considering Kare Bear was working at a rundown motel not too far away.

The Bitch Is Back

And speaking of rundown living arrangements, Victoria Grayson is totally alive (like we ever thought otherwise) and was chillin’ like a villain in her Catskills cabin. But the horror of horrors? She’s taken to wearing simple sweaters and — gasp — pants!

Vicki, with help of the White-Haired Man, escaped her plane explosion (sorry, Lydia) and went into hiding to keep safe from The Initiative and her hubby. But when she finds out Charlotte “I Eat Lots of Pills For Breakfast” Grayson is being held hostage in her rehab center, Vicki pulls a few strings, gets Conrad to beat her up, and pins everything on the WHM.

Credit: Ron Tom/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney    

Aiden and Abetting

Meanwhile, Ems has a new (or should we say old) bestie in town. Aiden Mathis was her Takeda revenge school chum, and now he’s living it up in the Hamptons, snooping where he doesn’t belong, and killing white-haired men. Whoops!

He shoots Gordon Murphy (aka the White-Haired Corpse) in the back when the silver-toned fox attacks Emily. The revenge queen is none too pleased considering she needed the WHM’s help in finding her mother.

But we learn quickly that Gordon not only knows Kara’s whereabouts, but he was her husband! Whoa. So Emily’s stepdaddy tried to kill her twice and shackled her to a wall? Talk about family issues.

But that’s OK, because Ems learned to get over it (after knocking Aiden out with a wine bottle), and the two lived happily ever after. Well … for now, at least!

Credit: Colleen Hayes/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney    

The Other Bitch Is Back

Fauxmanda and her baby bump are back in the Hamptons and irritating everyone more than ever. Sadly, that baby does belong to Jack — paternity test and all — and this ex-stripper is preparing to start the family she’s always dreamed of having.

Unfortunately, she still feels some sort of loyalty to Emily, who’s done nothing but cause trouble for this reformed murderer. Ems convinces Amanda to get close with the Graysons through Charlotte, who thinks Fauxmanda is her half sister.

But getting close to the Graysons can be hellah dangerous, which Amanda learns when she confronts Victoria and accidentally falls off the second story balcony in Grayson Manor. Baby Carl David is saved from harm, but Amanda’s put in a coma.

Hearing the news on the radio, Kara’s mommy instincts kick in and she heads toward the Hamptons — and in turn, her former nemesis, Victoria Grayson.

Credit: Eric McCandless/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney    

The Talented Mr. Treadwell

It’s not just bitches that are back in the Hamptons. Everyone’s favorite dirt digger, Mason Treadwell, has made a reappearance and he’s looking for the scoop of the century. He runs into Kara, catches a glimpse of Fauxmanda’s scar-free back and decides to go snooping.

He ends up deciding that Emily and Amanda were lesbian lovers during their time in juvie, but Ems is quick to set the record straight. She convinces Mason to work for her, right up to the point where she frames him for the White-Haired Man’s murder.

In order to keep him behind bars, Emily promises him the rights to her true story and a “get out of jail free” card when her vengeance is complete (aka in six or seven more seasons).

Credit: Eric McCandless/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney    

Techie Time

Sadly, Nolan and Emily haven’t quite been the dynamic duo this season. Nolan’s been busy running his multi-billion dollar company, Nolcorp, which for some reason needed extra attention this time around.

Maybe it’s because of his hottie with a body CFO, Padma Lahari. These two have been steaming up their computer screens, but we’re still not sure if homegirl is evil or not.

She did accidentally alert Grayson Global to the fact that they have a right to the majority of Nolcorp’s stock, which caused all kinds of problems. Most importantly, Nolan’s ex-flame and former CFO, Marco Romero, is back in town. And though he doesn’t want to destroy Nolan, he wants what’s rightfully his.

Credit: STILL    

Disgraced Ms. Davenport

It’s been a banner year for Ashley Davenport. She’s planned the Hamptons most prestigious parties and social events, landed a killer job at Grayson Global, snagged young Daniel Grayson, and hooked up with his father.

Yes, you read that right. This former call girl has opened her legs to plenty of eligible bachelors — including all the Grayson men. When Victoria finds out, she demands that the Brit use her womanly ways to entice Grayson Global board member, Salvador Grobet, in order to swing his vote toward Conrad, but then Danny finds out and uses their affair as blackmail to get him back on top. He’s CEO, bitch!

Credit: Vivian Zink/ABC Television Group © 2012 Disney    

Trouble at the Docks

Jack and Declan Porter are in a world of trouble. The Ryan brothers think Carl Porter, Sr. killed their father, and they have a revengeda of their own. Irony of ironies, Carl didn’t kill Joe Ryan, but Carl’s neighbor, Matt Duncan, used his gun to do it.

And we hear that when Revenge returns, Jack and Declan are in all kinds of trouble, centering around Jack’s wedding to Fauxmanda. Oh right, that’s happening.

Do you feel caught up for Sunday? Tell us below!

01.3.2013 / 08:32 PM EDT by Rachel McRady
Related: Revenge, Recaps, Spoilers, Revenge Season 2

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