We’ve been anxiously awaiting more Santana(Naya Rivera) on our TV screens, so hearing her tell Rachel (Lea Michele) and Quinn(Dianna Agron) on Glee this week that New York City is more her speed was music to our ears. The only question is what she would actually do there — besides room with Kurt(Chris Colfer) and Rachel, natch (fingers crossed!).
We don’t really envision Santana wanting to attend NYADA, so we’ve come up with the top five career paths that would suit her in the Big Apple. Start spreading the news!
1. Join a rock band. If you ask us, Santana can rock out with the best of them. And given that New York City is the place to be for emerging rock bands, Santana would be perfect as a band’s sassy frontwoman, much like Gwen Stefani or Karen O. Come to think of it, Santana not being able to strut her stuff onstage would be B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
2. Become a cheerleader for the Knicks City Dancers. Things might not be working out for her on the Louisville cheer squad, but we know Santana has a love for cheering, so why not take it to the next level in the NBA? Not only would we love to see her wowing Knicks crowds with her dance moves, but we’re certain she could totally rock a pair of booty shorts like the Knicks City Dancers do.
3. Start doing stand-up comedy. NYC is as good a place as any to get started as a budding stand-up comic. And no one is funnier or quicker-witted than Santana, so we think she would be perfect as a professional joke-teller. We just wouldn’t recommend sitting in the front of the crowd during one of Santana’s sets, since you just know she would deliver some harsh crowd work.
4. Become a vocal teacher. As sassy as Santana can be, she definitely has a nurturing side, which often comes out during her sentimental scenes with Brittany (Heather Morris). So we think she would be perfect teaching private vocal lessons to some adorable youngsters. Plus, if Glee does eventually become entirely set in NYC, this might be a good way to still introduce some younger cast members.
5. Write a sex advice column. NYC has all sorts of edgy newspapers — like, say, the Village Voice — that would be dying for a sex advice columnist who’s as feisty (and experienced!) as Santana to answer reader questions. And we’re also in favor of this because we think Santana could do a much better job than Carrie Bradshaw’s column on Sex and the City, with its hokey wordplay. To borrow Carrie’s phrase, we “couldn’t help but wonder” why Glee doesn’t make this happen immediately!
Santana should definitely come to New York for good!