1. Rayna and Juliette Have a Freaky Friday Moment By a show of hands, who else thought it was weird that Juliette (Hayden Panettiere) ended up sitting all bare-faced onstage while singing over Deacon’s (Charles Esten) strumming rang out like angels — while Rayna (Connie Britton) shook her lady bits in a short sequin-y dress? Did we miss the part where Jamie Lee Curtis styled them?
2. Somebody Wants to Have Sex With Teddy No offense to the very handsome Eric Close, but Teddy Conrad is a totally depressing dick whose motives are outlined for all to see in the shadows he lives in. The fact that Peggy falls over herself and into his Land Rover/carpool van hybrid to hold his hand while she is dressed like Samantha the American Girl doll is just total bunk. And then when they’re lying in bed and Teddy’s like “that was a mistake” and then they just spoon their guilt away... Nope.
3. Deacon’s Kiss and Run Deacon and Rayna have been all eye-sexy for weeks and it’s been really fun for us all to watch. But when they finally had a makeout in the elevator moment after his broody “Then Don’t!” the week before, and she’s clearly not resisting... well, we just find it hard to believe that with all their history, that’s all that happened. It’s “sex, drugs, and rock & roll” — not “relatively chaste makeout session, etc.”
4. Avery Is on TV Pretty self-explanatory, but Avery Barkley (Jonathan Jackson) is a nobody, no matter how many factory parking lot fairs he plays. There’s no possible way anybody cares enough about “His Nashville.” Especially broody “let’s watch him walk down the street of his last house” shots that need B-reel.
5. Juliette Makes a Mockery of Billowy Shirts Hipsters everywhere must be up and arms that she took their clothing anthem — an ill-fitting, mildly ratty shirt — and wore it without the properly clashing ill-fitting pants or thrice-used thrift shop sweater to go with it. And white? What, were they out of Native American-print camp shirts and wool snowflake cardigans?