Bachelor 2013 Power Rankings: Lindsay Tops Sean’s Final Four
Sean Lowe is in between a rock and a hard place (read: an actual rock and his abs). This dude has narrowed his wife pool down to four lucky ladies, and each of them is more adorable than the next. But the real question? Who has more viable eggs in their ovaries?
Please join us as we rank the most powerful players from The Bachelor Season 17, Episode 7, based on their personality, sex appeal, degrees of insanity, and chance of winning this thing!
Name:Lindsay Yenter Ranking: 1 Pros:Lindsay barely spent any time with Sean this week, but she did managed to nab the rose thanks to a steamy make out session, wherein her and Sean's tongues joined forces like two beautiful dolphins doing an erotic love dance. Also, girlfriend stayed out of the Tierra LiCausi vs. AshLee Frazier eyebrow drama and keep her head in the game! Cons: Lindsay has come pretty far in the competition, but she has yet to break down into a fit of hysterical drunken weeping. Yes, she showed up in a wedding dress and got wasted, but has she murdered anyone? No. Has she witnessed anyone get murdered? No. Is she an orphan who spent her formative years camping in a teepee? Not even close. Hands up if you think Lindsay should quickly marry a sea lion so she has something to tell Sean?
Name: Catherine Giudici Ranking: 2 Pros: Catherine is a beautiful sea goddess and we want to look exactly like her only with red hair like Ariel the Mermaid. Also, we love that she opened up to Sean about her father's troubled past. Though we don't love the fact that Sean barely reacted. Probably too busy counting his freckles (there are so many and they're all so adorable!) and thinking about his one true love — a dumbbell named Chris Harrison. Cons: We're slightly confused as to why Catherine broke down into a fit of tears when Sean gave her a rose. Is it possible that Tierra's multiple personality drifted into her brain and took over? FEAR.
Name: Desiree Hartsock Ranking: 3 Pros: Desiree got all kinds of flirty with Sean during the group date, but did he reward her with a rose? Nope. He was just like "oh, sorry — my makeout session with Lindsay trumps your tragic feels." Also, this pro is feeling more like a con. Which brings us to... Cons: We're worried that Sean is putting Desiree in the friend zone. It's this mysterious zone slightly above his abs and slightly below his pecs where potential wives retire. Sigh, if only Sean and Des had found a palm tree to scamper up. Their mutual fetish for timber is the only thing that links them.
Name: AshLee Frazier Ranking: 4 Pros: AshLee blurted out "I LOVE SEAN" to no one in particular. Cons: See pros.