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The Bachelor

Bachelor 2013 Power Rankings: Is Lindsay in Sean’s Friend Zone?

Can you believe Sean Lowe has narrowed his pool of hotties down to just three ladies? Each of these gals is lovelier than the next, but unfortunately Sean can't marry all of them because that's illegal everywhere other than Jef Holm's love-farm. You know what that means! The time has come to rank AshLee Frazier, Catherine Giudici, and Lindsay Yenter based on their personality, sex appeal, degrees of insanity, and chance of winning this thing!

Name: AshLee Frazier
Ranking: 1
Pros: AshLee really loves Sean. Like, we're pretty sure she would sacrifice a million innocent lambs just to prove her devotion. Plus, she's more than ready to pop out a fleet of Little Lowes, because in case you'd forgotten girlfriend is like 60 years old. According to Tierra's all-knowing eyebrows, AshLee is basically a geriatric, and if Sean doesn't pump her full of babies she might have to be dropped off at an old person's home.
Cons: We're worried that AshLee is scary-obsessed with Sean. In fact, we'd wager a bet that her entire room is covered in Sean posters, dried roses, pictures of inspirational prison tattoos and discarded boxes of Franzia. Much like our room.... Also, this con just became a pro.

Name: Catherine Giudici
Ranking: 2
Pros: Everything about Catherine is perfect. Girlfriend even looks adorable surrounded by murdered fish and half-dead lobsters who are about to be boiled! Plus, Sean has more fun with Catherine that he has with anyone else in his army of ovaries, and we're fully confident that their love is eternal.
Cons: Catherine is an ambitious lady, and it turns out she wants to do things like "work" and "have a job." We're not sure how well this will jive with Sean's fantasy life of farm-living, pie-baking and baby-making, but who knows? Maybe Catherine will be content milking udders all day.

Name: Lindsay Yenter
Ranking: 3
Pros: Lindsay and Sean have great chemistry, and we loved how dirty-flirty they got during basic training drills! Plus, Lindsay's family welcomed Sean with completely open arms, and her dad refrained from pumping him full of lead with his collection of rifles. All in all, these two had a great date — despite the fact that Sean was wearing a turtleneck. HIS NECK NEEDS TO BREATHE, LINDSAY.
Cons: Lindsay and Sean have a great time together, but we're slightly worried that he's putting her in the bestie zone. Basically, if their relationship was Facebook, he'd be friending her instead of poking her.