“She’s looking at old pictures of herself on her computer and her phone for literally hours at a time, pining for her pre-pregnancy body,” a source told the mag. “She is seriously melting down!”
OK, we’ve been looking at pictures of Kim literally every day, and we’d say she looks like a pretty normal woman who is over four months pregnant. But evidently we are wrong! The “body expert” Star consulted says she has “put on an insane amount of weight.” How much? “It’s likely around 65 lbs. so far!”
The source goes to say that Kim, while being “desperate to stop gaining so much weight,” can’t stop binge eating and just cries all the time because she dreads how big she’ll get by the end of her pregnancy.
And how is Kim dealing with this? She’s reportedly sleeping in Spanx, slathering herself in a small fortune’s worth of stretch mark cream and avoiding being naked in front of boyfriend Kanye West. Oh, and she also calls her sisters crying and saying that, “her butt looks like ‘a big hunk of cheese.”
We’re going to ignore our many other problems with all this ridiculousness and focus on our favorite: Who is this source that was apparently on the phone line as Kim cried over her cheese-like butt? Unless it’s another Kardashian, a Jenner or Jonathan Cheban, this whole scenario seems pretty unlikely.
Really, even if it is one of those actual insiders, this whole scenario seems pretty unlikely. We think we're done here.