Bachelorette 2013: Desiree’s Season “Set the Record for Most” WHAT?
The Bachelor/The Bachelorette producer Robert Mills certainly knows his audience. Fresh off the heels of perhaps the most shirtless season of The Bachelor yet, Millsy made a pretty bold boast on the Twitter machine April 11. “This season of The Bachelorette has set the record for most nipples.” *record screech* Say what?!
First off... most nipples ever? He can’t possibly mean in franchise history. We’re pretty sure Sean Lowe only wore three shirts for his entire season of The Bachelor. And who can forget two seasons of Brad Womack’s washboard abs? We certainly haven’t.
We’re thinking Robert’s claims must be limited to The Bachelorette. Nevertheless, a claim this brazen warrants a little investigation. If we absolutely have to, we’ll go through every episode in the eight prior seasons to see what the current record is. You know... for science. (Hey, do you know if we can we get a grant for this kind of in-depth, groundbreaking research?)
Well, it’s not like ABC would just cut off our supply of hot, bare-chested single dudes, right? After all those scenes of Sean swimming without a shirt — plus the weird, soft-porny outtakes of him in the shower — audiences are going to expect a to see some nipples. Plus, after Dez’s heartbreaking dumping by ol’ Twinkle Toes, she deserves a wide selection of hot, shirtless dudes to help her ease the pain.
Might we suggest a tagline for this upcoming season? “The Bachelorette: Now with even more roses... and more nipples than ever before!”