Are You Too Much of a People Pleaser? 3 Ways to Curb the Habit of “Yes”
Some of us — OK, a lot of us moms — take on too much because we’re afraid of letting people down.The irony, of course, is that the more we take on, the less we are actually able to accomplish. And yet, when we’re asked to do one more thing, the people-pleasing part of our brains trumps all logic and sanity, and a “Yes” escapes our lips before we really consider how much we’re already doing.
The folks over at Lifehacker understand this people-pleasing problem, especially how it adds more stress to already stressful lives. To combat it, we’ve compiled some of their excellent advice on how to make sure the that the person you’re pleasing first is yourself.
Close Your Door When it’s time to pay the bills or return emails, you may want to keep that home office door open so that you don’t make your family feel like you don’t care. Sure, having an open door does make you seem accessible, but it mean you’ll need more time to actually get things done while others come in and disrupt you. Having some “Do Not Disturb” time so you can get through the routine slog of life means you can spend more time having fun with those people you want to please!
Just Say No The easiest way to avoid taking on too much, is to learn how to say no graciously, but firmly. If you’ve always been the person whom everyone else counts on to pick up the slack, this can be especially tough to do. The next time someone asks you to do something — organize a fundraiser or run a second carpool — ask yourself if you really truly have the time to get it done. If it means you’ll be working nights and weekends to fit it all in, then you can say “I don’t have any extra time.” Chances are, whomever’s asking understands all too well!
Ask For Help We’ve all had the thought that it would be easier to just do it ourselves — because “it will only take a minute” — than to enlist the help of others. (This is especially true of our kids, because, you know, “Mom does it better.”) The fact is, these minutes add up, and you avoid letting your little learn how to do all the stuff you already know how to do so well! Trust us, delegating is a win-win — and it’s the reason we have kids in the first place, right?