If you’re in the hospital with a gunshot wound, it’s a safe bet that the police are going to have some questions for you: The first being, who did this?
When you would rather not divulge who did what to whom, for reasons that are entirely your own — but in this instance probably involve some alleged gang ties — why not blame the ninjas?
That’s what happened to a 17-year-old in Chicago, who showed up at the hospital with what looked suspiciously like a self-inflicted injury to his nether region. When questioned by police, he told the authorities that a couple of men wearing “Ninja-like masks” jumped out of a black van and attacked him.
Sure, why not? Ninjas aren’t known for being nice guys, and it’s completely plausible that they’re hanging out in Chicago, just waiting to take people out. So watch your step, citizens of the Windy City.