5 WTF Moments From Revenge Season 2, Episode 19: “Identity”
There were more than the usual amount of WTF moments during this week's Revenge (including but not limited to: what time of year is it?), and we've pretty much spent the last 24 hours side-eyeing our TV while shoving lobster claws into our mouths. Why 24 hours? It's called a marathon, guys.
Sure, Revenge is a brilliant, intricately plotted show, but does that stop us from rounding up the biggest WTFs of the week? No, no it doesn't. Check 'em out!
1. Emily Discovers Mirrors, Is Amazed By Her Own Reflectio
Apparently, Emily's morning routine goes something like this: get up at 4am, slaughter some local sea creatures, huff a few Sharpies, take shower, spend approximately five minutes looking at reflection in slow motion. We approve. Although we're slightly worried about how foggy Emily's bathroom is. It's like a sauna in there –– who knows what might come out of the mist and try to kill her (looking at you, The Ghost of Sammy Dog).
2. Charlotte Loves The Ladies
You guys, shhhh. Charlotte is exploring her sexuality and it's really beautiful. Sure, most sexually repressed debutants wait until college to make out with their best friends, but Charlotte clearly wants to get a jump start on sexperimenting. On camera. In some dank club. With a stranger. While she has a boyfriend. Look, we're all about Charlotte's foray into girl-on-girl tonsil hockey, and we know she isn't the brightest Grayson in the bunch, but girlfriend's public indiscretion was Daniel-level clueless. It's like she has no idea how the Internet works.
3. Declan Is Gossip Girl
Have you heard the news? Declan wants to go to NYU, which means it's only a matter of time before he reunites with his real family, the Van der Woodsens. And it looks like Gossip Girl (read: Dan Humphrey) is one step ahead of the game! Seems as though this fabulous internet troll caught wind of Charlotte's girl-on-girl kiss, and immediately sent a video to Declan. Shockingly, Declan's ancient ‘90s computer was able to play said video, though we're even more blown-away that The Stowaway has a Wi-Fi connection. We thought Declan still used dial-up and owned a beeper....
4. Ummmm...Daniel and Emily Are Engaged?
We know Revenge was on hiatus for, like, a million weeks, but didn't Daniel and Emily just get back together? She referred to him as her "boyfriend" for this first time during this week's episode, and meanwhile he's just like "OMG, OMG, marry me, scrapbooking, feelings, memories!" Seriously, calm yourself, Daniel. Take your omnipresent emotions, turn them into a haiku, and leave Emily's innocent ring finger along.
5. Jack Un-Godmothers Emily
Remember when Amanda made Emily godmother to her love child and Jack was just like "zippity do dah"? Well, now he plans to ignore his wife's last dying wish all because he's jealous that Emily and Daniel are dating. We know Jack hates Conrad Grayson for murdering Amanda on The Amanda, but what did Daniel ever do to this nomadic sea urchin? Nothing, that's what. Then again maybe it's for the best that Emily isn't Carl David's godmother. She is a sociopath, after all.