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The Bachelorette

Bachelorette 2013 Week 6 Promo Analysis: The Boys Get on James’ Case

Where in the world is Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock this week? Well, according to the Season 9 Episode 6 promo (aka the highlight of our day), Germany couldn’t hold the Bachelorette so she packed up her menfolk for a trip to sunny Barcelona!

At this point of their European vacation, Atlantic City must seem like some weird group hallucination the men had after one too many shots at the cocktail party.

In case you can’t wait until Monday’s show, we took one for the team and analyzed the heck out of this minute-long promo. Enjoy.

Credit: ABC video still    

00:03 — Men-testants Show Off Their Snapping Skills

The ocho amigos greet the historic city of Barcelona by chanting “ole” and snapping their fingers in*sync. Pass the pitch pipe. Things are about to get musical.

00:10 — Zak’s Hair Looks Super High

Every time Zak Waddell appears on camera he just seems so happy to be there. Like he wakes up in the morning, looks around, and says, “Golly gee! I’m on The Bachelorette.” A+ for eagerness.

00:14 to 00:23 — SO MUCH KISSING

Please tell us ABC screens for mono during casting calls.

00:16 — Des Finds a Nice Guy in an Alley

Apparently street lights aren’t a thing in the part of Barcelona where Des tongues a tallish guy in a suit (Chris Harrison?!)

00:31 — You Won’t Like Me When I’m Angry

Studmuffin/Hulk wannabe James Case look so upset about rumors he wants fame and power we almost expect his suit to involuntarily rip off.

Credit: ABC video still    

00:37 — The First Cut is the Deepest, Baby, We Know

When she hears one of her men may want to be the next Bachelor, Des, former Bachelor contestant, cries real tears.

00:45 — Des Gets Resentful, Looks to Buy Boat

Standing in front of a lovely marina, Des gets bitter. Seems a little early in the relationship, dontcha think?

00:54 — Getting Hostile in the Hostel

As the contestants squabble, we marvel at the range of pastels they feel comfortable wearing on national television.

01:01 — Drew’s Hair Doesn’t Move Even When He’s Pissed

Just watch it.