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The Bachelorette

Bachelorette 2013 Recap: Fantasy Suites and Nightmare Scenarios

Forget Everything Else. Here’s What Happened With Brooks.

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Oh, Brooks. When he first appeared, he was in Idaho, talking to his mom and sister about liking Des but not loving her. “I have the option to tell Des I love her, or to tell her I don’t,” the Salt Lake City marketing man said, breaking down the obvious. When he arrived in Antigua, he immediately spoke with Chris Harrison about his feelings. And it was awkward.

Even Chris H was in disbelief at Brooks’s sudden admittance that he just wasn’t ready to propose to Desiree. “I feel like if I don’t feel it at this point, I’m not going to feel it with more time... and, I don’t feel like I’ll regret it if I walk away,” Brooks explained when Chris asked if he might just need some time alone with her to talk during their Overnight Date. “I feel like I’ve come to a conclusion where I’ve realized that Des is not the love of my life.”

Chris wanted to clarify The Coiffed One’s feelings, restating, “As you sit here right now, you’re 100% sure that this is not the girl with you, that you’re not going to propose, and that you’re not in love with her and are not going to be in love with her?” Brooks agreed and told Chris that although he had been in love before, he wasn’t now.

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Desiree Hartsock was almost at the end of her journey on The Bachelorette Season 9, confident that her love for Brooks Forester would be reciprocated on their final 1-on-1 date in Antigua. But then the worst thing a Bachelorette (or any girl) could imagine happening, happened.

In the Overnight Dates portion of The Bachelorette 2013, Desiree went on fun dates with Drew Kenney and Chris Siegfried, enjoying the beautiful scenery of the Caribbean island, kissing, and all that jazz. She complimented Drew’s looks, spent a night making out with the Arizona native when he accepted her Fantasy Suite invitation, and ultimately left him thinking that things might work out.

While with Chris, she told him that she would move to Seattle if he was the one in the end, smiled while he recited more poetry to her, and then spent the night with him as well.

But it was all fun and games until her frontrunner flew in for the final date, with Des elated at Brooks Forester’s arrival. Here’s a break down of the episode for anyone who missed it, or has already wiped it from their brains.

Desiree and Drew Flirt Like Kittens

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Drew was so excited to see Des, he ran to be with her, lifting her up and kissing her. They drove around the island chatting about how much they liked each other, and Drew expressed how excited he was to spend the night. When they came upon a festival, a grass weaver made them a rose and a heart, then watched voyeuristically while they kissed. And when Drew asked Des “will you take my rose?” we had to hold back our fits of giggling.

Lucky for Drew, the rain that ruined Desiree’s picnic plan also forced them directly into the Fantasy Suite, and his agreement to spend the night was nearly a foregone conclusion. As the winner of the awkward phrasing contest, Drew said in his camera alone time, “I haven’t had a good morning yet. I’ve only had good nights.” They made out rabidly, and Drew finally had to tell the cameras “Alright guys, time to leave.” Last we heard from Des, she was saying “it’s so hot in here,” so we can only assume they did what’s right, and took off all their clothes.

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Cue the cracks in your heart, guys, cuz it only got worse.

When it was time for Brooks’s date with Desiree, the cameras showed her giddy with anticipation, saying that she is “in love with him” and “misses him every day” when she’s not with him. Well, girlie, get ready.

Brooks started talking to her about his feelings, and she was immediately like, “you’re going to make me cry.” And cry she did, because ABC had to stop the music so we didn’t miss anything that Brooks had to say.

Here’s a loose transcript of their conversation, because we couldn’t write anything this dramatic if we tried:

Chris and Des, Sitting in a Metaphor for a Tree

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There’s just something about Chris Siegfried that is so earnest, we don’t even mind when he gives Desiree structured commands for what he wants her to say. For example, on their date, he wanted each of them to express two things they liked about each of their interactions. One thing we hated about this interaction? Desiree’s fugly macrame vest, which she wore over a green bikini top. It was atrocious.

The pair made out in the surf, and we’re pretty sure Chris wrote a poem about it afterward. The one he recited to Desiree over their dinner was less of a poem and more a string of words spoken in a specific order with spaces in between them. After the non-rhyming phrases, they discussed their future, with Chris telling Des he would want her to move to Seattle. A drawn out talk ended with Des saying she’d never done such a thing before, but she would move to be with him in the Northwest.

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Brooks: “If I found the love of my life here... how awesome is that? And, uh, I really want that. I’ve wanted that. I was surprised on our first date to feel the way that I felt. It was an amazing first date. I don’t know it’s just... here is the struggle. It is that all of these things I feel like I’ve checked off. Like, the way you look at everything, the way I feel when I’m around you, I feel like you’re a way better person than I am... and I feel like I’m so happy that I found that in you. And there are moments when I wake up and I’m like ‘what the hell am i doing?’ And when I’m not around you... I feel like I lose it.”

Desiree: “How do you really feel?” she asked him, without irony

Brooks: “Um, I really want to be madly in love with you, you know? This is even harder. Because you’re like excited for... please don’t cry.”

Desiree cried, and said “I want the simple things.” Trailing off, Brooks hugged her and she cried in his shirt.

When he tried to hug her again, apologizing, she said “stop it” and pulled away.

Still confused, Desiree continued to try and sort through her feelings and what went wrong.

Forget Everything Else. Here’s What Happened With Brooks.

Credit: ABC video still    
Credit: ABC video still    

Desiree: “I love you.”

Brooks: “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

Desiree: “I couldn’t. I told you I was gonna tell you today. I told you I was running. You’re the only one... I could say that to... you’re breaking my heart.”

Brooks: “I know I am.”

After a few minutes, Desiree said, “I don’t care if you just broke my heart. I love you.”

Trying to fix the situation, Brooks: “Please don’t misunderstand the fact that I don’t care for you. I do.”

Brooks and Desiree sat in an embrace for a long time, on a bench on a dock in Antigua. Why? After a while, it just felt cruel that he wouldn’t leave, having already told her he didn’t love her and didn’t want to be with her. “I didn’t want to leave, I just didn’t know I’d feel that way. I’m surprised at the way I felt,” Brooks explained in his In The Moment interview.

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Finally, Brooks said, “let’s go” and put his arm around her as they walked off the dock. She started to put her arm around him too, but then thought better of it, and pulled away.

Brooks: “Can we just walk for a little bit?”

Desiree: “Yeah... I really wanted you to meet my family.”

Brooks: “Now what are you going to do?”

Desiree: “What am I going to do?”

Brooks: “Yeah, I just know you’re conflicted and have been conflicted.” (or something similar)

Desiree: “You know why I was so conflicted? Because I didn’t want to share my heart, I wanted to give it to you. And when I wanted to go on dates, I wanted to go with you.”

[So. Many. Tears.]

Brooks: “Sorry, I’ll shut up. This isn’t helping.”

Desiree: “No, not at all.... I guess I have to go.”

Brooks: “Should I go?”

Desiree: “What else are you going to do?”

Brooks: “I just don’t want to leave you.”

Desiree: “I’ve done everything by myself and I just wanted someone to share my life with.”

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The pair hugged, with their microphones / ABC playing up the sound of their heartbeats.

Brooks: “I’m sorry.”

Desiree: “Just stop saying it.”

Brooks kissed Desiree’s head and started to walk away, with Desiree following after him for one more minute.

Desiree: “You can go. I’m gonna go sit by myself.”

And she walked off back to a dock to sit alone and cry.

Brooks, likewise, cried alone, crouched down at the forest’s edge.

In her last few words of the episode, Desiree left a void that the other guys will soon be dropped into. “It breaks my heart knowing that I have two amazing guys. Guys who do want to love me and who do love me. But I know I just can’t love them as much. And that’s not what they deserve. Honestly, for me, it’s over.”

What Happens Next?

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Crazy, huh? At this point, there’s only two options: 1) Brooks returns and tells Desiree he made a mistake, that he does love her, proposes, and they end up together. Or 2) Brooks leaves, Desiree has to eliminate both Chris and Drew, knowing that she just said she’ll never love them the same way she loved Brooks. If it’s option 2, then we’re going to drink our volume in boxed Shiraz. If it’s 1, though, we’ll probably do the same...

Tune in for the rest of the “dumpster fire” of a finale on August 5 at 8/7c on ABC.