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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Top 10 Quotes From The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 4, Episode 5: “I Need a Hand Job”

The only tough thing about choosing the 10 craziest quotes from any given episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is narrowing it down to just 10! Here are our picks for the best quotes from this week’s episode, Season 4, Episode 5: "Star of the Family."

10. Lisa Vanderpump [about Brandi]: “I hope she suffers for that body I hope she doesn’t eat, and I hope she spends her life in the fking gym.”

What a lovely sentiment.

9. Joyce Giraud [about Lisa]: “I would think she’s a little bit older, so I would think that she’s the wisest.”

Backhanded compliment, anyone?

8. Brandi Glanville: “Welcome to wiping kids’ asses and picking up dog st.”

If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

7. Woman at the facial place: “This is the Hannibal Lecter part.”

Hello, Clarice Joyce.

6. Kim Richards [to Kimberly, about parking]: “I just don’t like to get too close because of my tires.”

Kim has the most pristine tires in all of L.A. County.

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5. Ken Todd [for Jason to market]: “What about toilet paper?”

Doesn’t most toilet paper marketing involve cartoon bears?

4. Brandi Glanville [about Stevie Wonder]: “I took a picture of him I don’t think he saw.”

Very stealthy.

3. Lisa Vanderpump [about herself getting a star]: “There’s more chance Giggy would get one.”

If Lassie can get one, why not Giggy?

2. Kyle Richards [at the skincare place]: “I need microdermabrasion on my hands, too. I need a hand job.”

Who doesn’t, Kyle?

1. Lisa [about Brandi kissing Carlton]: “Apparently, they’re either at each other’s throats or down each other’s throats.”

Lisa’s not one to mix business and pleasure.