Tonight’s Season 5 finale of Glee had us hooked right from the get go when Brittany (Heather Morris) returned from her vacation to Lesbos (which actually just turned out to be her wandering around an airport a la Tom Hanks in that movie that had nothing to do with airports) and paid a visit to Rachel (Lea Michele), Kurt (Chris Colfer), Blaine (Darren Criss), Sam (Chord Overstreet), and Mercedes (Amber Riley) in NYC.
Brit asked about her lady love Santana (Naya Rivera) before she even put her bags down, and apparently the writers explained Snicks’ mysterious absence from the finale courtesy of a Yeast-I-Stat shoot in the wheat fields of Iowa. Ew. Touche, Powers That Be. This clearly doesn’t speak well to the probability of Santana/Naya’s return in Season 6, but back to the finale.
Rachel Berry — TV Star?
When Rachel was just an awkward high school student back in Ohio, it was her dream to move to New York and become a big Broadway star. Now that she’s achieved that thanks to Funny Girl, this talented lady has even bigger aspirations. Her audition for that sci-fi pilot back in Episode 19 may have been a disaster, but she did walk away from the whole ordeal with a development deal and now she’s hanging out with writer Mary Halloran (Kristen Schaal) so Mary can get a sense of who she is for her show, only in Mary’s world, “Randi” Berry has two gay dads who work for NASA. Unique to say the least.
“Insane” Mary drives Rachel’s pals crazy pretty quickly (except for Brit, who of course sees her as a kindred spirit) and Kurt even advises Rachel not to quit Funny Girl and go out for Mary’s TV show, lest she risk getting blackballed on Broadway. A group reading of Mary’s quirky script not only couples up Brittany and Blaine (Braine? Blittany?) but it proves that Mary is hardly the genius wordsmith Rachel believed her to be. #Uhoh.
After attempting to read the entirety of Mary’s script, Rachel finally realizes that if she were to leave Broadway for the small screen, it better be for something damn good and preferably without “coffee raves”. She decides to show Mary her essence through song and sings Pink’s “Glitter in the Air”. Something in the tune resonates with Mary and she agrees to give Rachel’s version of the show a shot
The second draft really impresses everyone and now all Rachel needs to do is wait and get the final word from the network. Read on to see what the network thought of The Untitled Rachel Berry Project!
Mercedes Goes on a Mall Tour, Sam Poses For Treasure Trailz
Meanwhile, Mercedes’ career is taking off thanks to her series of mall tours. Girlfriend is fierce, her fandom is growing by the second, and she’s loving it. Artie (Kevin McHale) is on hand to document every second of this exciting point in Mercedes’ life with his video camera in hand, because, really, what else is there for him to do? Oh, and Brit is Mercedes’ “star backup dancer” which we totally support.
Mercedes belts out the first tune of the night — the original track “Shakin’ My Head” — and her fans can’t get enough. Werk it, girl.
Sam is also werkin it at his Treasure Trailz shoot, that is when he’s trying his best not to stare his female counterparts. After the star of the Treasure Trailz campaign gets jailed for starting a teacup dog fighting ring (where’s Michael Vick when you need him?) Sam has a shot at nabbing the cover boy position, thus getting him that big break he desperately needs and moving him one step closer to his dream of “being almost naked on a public bus.”
After strutting his stuff and belting out “Girls on Film” in a sea of leggy waifs, Sam — who is “buzzing with sex” — gets a late night callback for the Treasure Trailz gig.
Now that both Sam and Mercedes are on the precipice of stardom, their respective crews (Kurt, Rachel, and Brittany for Mercedes and Artie and Blaine for Sam) separately persuade each of them to break up with one another. For better or for worse, they both refuse to end the relationship, at least for now.
At the callback shoot, in an effort to loosen Sam up, the sexy photog clears the room and kisses him, maintaining that they can do whatever they want and “nobody has to know”. A guilty Sam returns home to Mercedes (who is lovingly holding a plate of cupcakes, we might add) and confesses to cheating on her. Mercedes doesn’t view this indiscretion as cheating, but she does come to the conclusion that she can’t ask Sam to wait that long for her. “I know this is the right thing,” she says as they break it off.
In the end, Sam achieves his dream of getting his mug (and the rest of him) on the side of a bus, but drops a bombshell when he announces that this is the beginning and the end of his modeling career because he wants to leave NYC and return home to Lima.