Like anything act that follows Stevie Nicks, American Horror Story: Coven had to bring its a-game this week, and bring it they did.
Before the credits even roll, we see the origins of Madame Lalaurie's bloodlust — way back before she was buried or bodiless, she was just a woman trying to make dinner. However, without the help of her trusty cooks, there was no one around to chop the head off the chicken she had selected for her meal. So, like a woman with her corset strung too tight, Lalaurie did the dirty work herself, chopping the head off her would-be meal and, in a swift and natural progression, becoming a bloodthirsty murderess, like you do.
Back in the present day, Fiona's girls are mourning Nan's drowning. While the girls stand around looking like a moody Marc Jacobs ad, two familiar faces appear: Queenie and Delphine are back, complete with bodies (and the formerly missing parts of Queenie's skull).
Back at Miss Robichaux's, Delphine's thirst for blood is back, so she's done as she sees fit and taken Cordelia's gardener hostage in Spalding's scary doll attic so that she can snack of him. Downstairs, after conjuring an image of Nan's death (and thereby figuring out that it was Fiona and Marie who killed her), Zoe and Kyle are doing happy, blonde, in-love things, much to Madison's dismay. The bitchy burnout responds by attacking Zoe and Kyle and threatening to disassemble her reconstituted beau.
In the attic, Delphine has made a mess of her meal, to Spalding's delight — that's right, he's back, because rules don't exist here, and apparently, Ryan Murphy didn't feel he'd gotten his money's worth from that actor yet. As Delphine tries to clean up her mess, Spalding helps her come up with a plan to get back at Marie, but it's going to come at a price.
Downstairs in Queenie's room, the once-dead witch reveals to Cordelia that she survived Hank's attack and now believes herself to be impenetrable to bullets, a nifty little fact that she thinks is a good indication she's the next supreme. The two women fight, and Cordelia, having come down with a bad case of the sads, goes downstairs to blind herself in an incredibly emo attempt to regain her clairvoyance, because nobody does overreactions like these chicks.
Up in the attic, Delphine has returned with the bounty for Spalding — a 19th century baby doll. In exchange, Spalding cheekily gives the naive Delphine his solution for getting rid of Marie — a packet of Benadryl.
In the basement, Myrtle, with little to do with Cordelia blinded and Misty gone, is playing her theremin for dramatic effect. Zoe, apparently entranced by the eerie sound, comes down to meet with her. Myrtle, in what is either product placement or simply lazy writing, expresses concern for the young witch's safety and sends her where her love will surely be safe ... Epcot?
Over at Hank's father's office, Marie and Fiona are trying to make a deal, ostensibly to protect the coven from further harm. When the group can't decide upon acceptable terms, including bottomless buckets of diet Sprite for Marie and swimming pool-sized martinis for Fiona, the women decide to get rowdy — and by "get rowdy", we mean kill everyone with an axe. After a successful murder-and-makeout with the Axeman, Fiona leaves Delphine and Marie alone. Having discovered that the Benadryl won't kill the immortal (duh), Delphine stabs Marie, pushes her down the stairs, and then, at Spalding's urging, takes her unconscious body to be buried. Upstairs, in the attic, Spalding has revealed his true endgame: he's made off with Marie's stolen baby.
At the house, Zoe and Kyle pack their things and, following in the grand tradition of stories that begin or end with a killing spree, catch a bus to Florida.