Last night, the Top 10 sang the songs of Billy Joel for our enjoyment — okay, or our lack of enjoyment, in a few cases. Tonight, Jennifer Lopez is wearing the brightest pink dress we’ve ever seen on a human (maybe not on a Barbie) and someone is going home.
Lana Del Ray and Haley Reinhart are both performing tonight. Double swoon!
First up: A group performance of “For the Longest Time.” Ryan Seacrest introduces the Top 10 as the line-up we’ll see on this summer’s tour, and as a commercial for the tour, this isn’t exactly sending us running for tickets. Elise Testone sings her lines from Steven Tyler’s lap, though, and that’s a performance we’d pay to see! (The singing, we mean, like as in a duet. Nothing creepy, y’all.)
This week’s Ford commercial is set to Kelly Clarkson’s “You Found Me” and features the Top 10 looking for... something, we’re not sure. It didn’t make us want to buy a Ford.
First to get some results are Hollie Cavanagh, Skylar Laine, and Elise. Of these three, Elise is — tragically — the most likely to be in trouble. SIGH. Jimmy Iovine says: Hollie’s strongest suit is her vocal technique so it’s alarming when it fails her, Skylar needs to get more creative because she’s starting to go backwards, and Elise was incredible and will go to “the top of the heap.” Hollie’s safe. Skylar’s safe. We knew it! Boo. Wait! Fakeout! Elise is safe! Yay.
It’s always fun to decide how the guest performers would do if they were contestants. Lana Del Rey probably wouldn’t make it past the auditions. We love her, but she’s way too understated, both vocally and performance-wise, for this show. Amusingly, confetti randomly falls on her near the end of the song, which if you’ve heard “Video Games,” you know it’s really not a confetti kind of song.
JOE PERRY! Joe’s here in honor of Steven’s birthday this weekend. (By the way, if you don’t know, Joe Perry is the guitarist for Aerosmith.) Oh, Liv Tyler’s in the house, too.
DeAndre Brackensick, Joshua Ledet, and Jessica Sanchez are next in line for results. DeAndre is almost definitely in the Bottom 3 — will Joshua join him, though? Jimmy says: DeAndre was way too bouncy, Joshua didn’t understand his song, and Jessica gets “As across the board.” Jessica is safe, of course. And so is Joshua — probably some residual goodwill from last week. Which means DeAndre is in the Bottom 3, as we figured.
Well, we know how Haley Reinhart would do as an Idol contestant — third place, last season. Tonight she’s in a birdcage, singing her new single “Free.” The birdcage is kind of silly, but Haley looks gorgeous in a slinky gown, and she sounds terrific. The song is surprisingly good, and she’s much more compelling than Lana Del Rey. We’re calling this a win for Haley!
Colton Dixon, Phillip Phillips, Erika Van Pelt, and Heejun Han are the last contestants to get their results. We say: No way Colton or Phillip are in the Bottom 3. Jimmy says: Colton did a great job according to both Jimmy and Billy Joel, Phillip needs to be willing to take the advice he’s given, Erika deserves to be “at the top of the batch,” and Heejun’s performance was a stunt gone wrong. Ryan messes with Colton’s mind for like the seventh week in a row, but he’s safe. Erika’s in the Bottom 3. And so is... Heejun. Duh.
Erika’s better than Heejun or DeAndre, but she’ll still probably be the contestant with the lowest votes. And the judges wouldn’t use the save this early on with anyone except Jessica or maybe Phillip, so whoever has the fewest votes is toast. DeAndre is safe, as is Heejun. Damn, we called it! Erika sings “I Believe in You and Me” to campaign for a save from the judges, and she sings the SNOT out of it, but it’s a “no.”
Poor Erika. Her “In Memoriam” package is all her looking like a completely different person. Also she’s awesome and should’ve lasted a lot longer, but such is the life of an Idol contestant. At least she made the tour.
Were you surprised by the results tonight? Did America get it right? Did the judges? Let us know!